


MFA的蕾罗脑洞合集

by cryforwhat, MFA101



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: 中文
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-06-27 07:30:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 28,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15680826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryforwhat/pseuds/cryforwhat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MFA101/pseuds/MFA101
Summary: 我：写作写到出现生存危机。翻译：希望有一台神奇机器能够把我脑洞精华吸收进去并自动补充其他我不想去调查研究但是剧情起承转合所需要的细节，最后吐出一篇没有错别字和逻辑问题的*十万字好文并得到2千转评赞。方法：做梦。





	1. 宇宙直男的爱

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 不要脸的改梗

昨天一个妹子给我分享了他男票的事情，听完了之后什么感受呢，不要再嘲笑直男不懂爱，有时候宇宙直男的爱，极致浪漫，让你猝不及防。  
  
这个妹子20岁还不到，是个孤儿，文凭虽然不高，但是脑子灵活，悟性极高，先是靠拾荒维生，后来开始维修机械，继而开始跑船闯荡四方，她最大的愿望是找出自己的亲生父母。  
  
男票比她大10岁，没有固定工作和收入，家庭关系复杂，父亲是搞走私的，常年不着家。他曾经靠关系进单位做了一阵子雷达技工，但是技术不行，经常被同事嘲笑，被上司骂，最后他发火打人，这工作当然不了了之。  
  
他们是网恋奔现的，坦白来讲，这男朋友确实符合了很多人对于一个中二男的偏见，「少时辍学」，「三十岁还在叛逆期」，「脾气非常暴躁」，「喜欢打架滋事」，「跟家里关系很僵」，甚至是让人感觉这人有点神经病。  
  
但用这姑娘的话来说「我觉得这也不算大问题，虽然他有时候有点神经病，但是高大壮实，有八块腹肌，我阳光开朗，他安静内向，刚好互补啊。他亲口说过眼里只有我呢——而且他的声音可有磁性了。他对我可上心了，我们虽然聚少离多，但是他天天坚持跟我视频聊天呢，毕竟，哪有完美的人呢。」  
  
他们第一次见面是在一个小树林，男的当时还戴着一个黑色的面具耍着红色的电灯管——那把会嗡嗡叫的玩意叫做光剑，怪烫手的。据说男的对妹子是一见钟情，可是妹子连男方的脸都没看清楚就被他弄昏抱进小黑屋了。  
  
你们觉得接下来会发生不可描述的事情对不对？  
  
妹子醒来发现自己被捆住，男的正跪在她面前，整个五十度黑现场啊！？  
  
女的要男摘了面具，嚯，那男的长得虽然可能不符合大众审美，可是耐不住妹子就好那一口啊，妹子以前从未谈过朋友，见到这么一张棱角分明的脸当下就心动了。  
  
可是，接下来妹子发现男的有特异功能，不但可以隔空取物，还可以读心！他们开始深度谈心，聊着聊着，女的突然发现自己原来也有特异功能——等等，这是怎么一回事？  
  
接着男的说通过这种名叫原力的特异功能探知妹子的深度记忆弄清楚她的亲生父母是谁，但就是死活不肯说明白，妹子哭着问，但是男的都是非常耿直地回答：  
「不行，对不起。」  
「不行，对不起。」  
「不行，对不起。」  
  
后来妹子趁男的出门的时候用原力逃走了，两人再次见面的时候，妹子惊讶地目睹男的手仞亲爹全程，那个震惊啊——那个爹正是她跑船的船长呢。她自己连爸妈都没有，一直把船长当爹看，而他居然嫌爹碍事就砍了？  
  
妹子这下火大了，随后她狠狠地用光剑揍这男的，男的处处让她，结果脸上被妹子砍出一大条疤痕，妹子愤而出走，去光剑技校进修了。  
  
但是这男的对妹子太过痴情，非但完全不怪妹子把他毁容，还有事没事坚持跟妹子视频聊天，聊着聊着，妹子终于了解到男的苦衷被感化，他和家里不和源自舅舅的背叛——而这个舅舅正是光剑技校的校长。  
  
某天两人正视频聊天聊得火热，妹子把手伸过网线去跟男的牵手成功，这时候被舅舅发现并掐了网，妹子生气地跟舅舅对峙，发现男的说的确实是实话，于是妹子就给了舅舅一闷棍，把自己顺丰直邮到男的家里去了——妹子也是敢爱敢恨的人啊。  
  
男的亲自到门口来迎接，送她上楼见家长——那是男的师傅，不知为毛男的对这老头言听计从，结果呢，老头对妹子的百般挑剔，还当着男的面打那妹子，男的当然发火了，气急败坏之下，把老头给腰斩了，这下乱了，家里的护卫出来了，男女双剑合璧，天下无敌地砍倒八个护卫，妹子顺手摸了一下男的大腿根，哎哟。  
  
最后男的跟女的说：  
  
「你是不是一直想知道你亲生父母是谁。」  
「是。」  
  
男的深吸一口气，开始用超能力让妹子恢复记忆。  
  
「其实你一直知道你的亲生父母是谁。」  
「！？」  
「你只是选择性遗忘了。」  
「！？」  
「你的亲生父母抛弃你了。」  
「！？」  
「他们把你卖了只是为了换酒钱。」  
「！？」  
「他们只是一对拾荒酒鬼。早就死在垃圾堆里了。」  
「！？」  
  
妹子听得泪汪汪，无法接受这个事实。  
  
「你什么都不是。」  
「！！」  
  
接着男的深吸一口气。  
  
「但是对我来说，你就是一切。」  
  
妹子呆住了。  
  
男的伸出手，「我们一起来统治宇宙建立新秩序吧！」  
  
妹子犹豫了。  
  
「求你了？」  
  
我代入了一下当时的场景，如果我是这个女生，估计脑袋里已经有n个情节在过场。我的天啊，这个男的直接拿全宇宙来跟你求婚啊，他家里是真的有皇位要继承啊，我是不是忘记说明这个男的妈妈是个公主，姥姥是个女王，姥爷是黑暗尊主，家里九代单传，他本人是银河皇帝。这一波不亏啊！[删除线]而且这男的胸特别大，以后奶孩子都没问题。[/删除线]  
  
最终妹子也颤抖地把手伸了过去……  
  
……  
  
……  
  
对了，最后男女双方还去看了极地的冰雪，当然这个男的不差钱，眼也不眨就自己包机几百架过去，还放烟火大炮，红艳艳地忒恢宏壮观了。  
  
……  
  
如果你觉得太神展开……以上是星战7和8的剧情大纲——我发誓电影就是这么演的。

 


	2. Kyreylo骨科（Mandoa系列 已经有序曲）

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 一切为了3P

#图安一记# #MFA101# #Reylo[超话]# #星战同人# 

本来只想写个左右逢源的银河骨科PWP，结果我的脑洞开到了宇宙里边缘，相当把EP7和EP8揉碎了重新来一遍……

 

 

剧情一开始线路跟TFA差不多：

抵抗军获知卢走天的下落地图局部，FO黑武士Ren出场捕获Poe并逼供，机器球BB8逃脱被Rey搭救，Poe和逃兵Finn开TIE脱围但遭遇空难， Rey和Finn相遇并乘垃圾场的千年隼逃避第一秩序追杀，千年隼在太空被吸入大船里，然后Han、Chewie和儿子Ben登场了。

对，这是剧情关键转折点，这个故事的Ben跟爸爸一起搞走私，性格是索罗2.0，头顶巨额悬赏，因为断手而安装着一只机械手，外号是BOSS（Ben Organa-Skywalker Solo）。好了，那么Ren是谁呢？后面你会知道的（或者，你可以抬头看标签）。

接下来机智的Rey让大家从怪物Rathar口中脱险，Ben和Rey看对眼撩得火热，半夜Ben意外撞见Rey自慰，春心荡漾地互撸了一把。

结果刚完事呢，康吉班Kanjiklub就捕获千年隼并企图对Rey不轨，Ben为救她丢失（损害）了机械手，此后Ben和Rey开始谈恋爱，顺理成章地为爱鼓掌破处——性觉醒的两人没事就一直啪啪啪。Rey经常做原力怪梦，察觉Solo父子在关于原力和卢走天的话题上遮遮掩掩，并意外偷听到父子和Leia视频聊天提及：“你的双胞胎哥哥已经走了，不会再回来了”。 

他们到青山绿水的Takodana那里找Maz接更好的AI机械假手，Rey受到地下室里的黑暗光剑召唤，看到各种幻象——沙漠小女孩哭泣求别走、黑夜雨天的黑武士团、机械手臂伸出废墟……Maz出现跟她说过往不再，未来可期，震惊的蕾蕾丢下光剑跑去小树林里，遇到带着军团来袭的Ren，反抗无能被麻掉。此处插入Leia带着抵抗军来解围，Finn和Poe重逢。

Ren抱着Rey回穿梭机的一幕被刚动接完手的Ben看到，震惊的他抢走Chewie的孥枪发射擦过Ren侧身，穿梭机随即关上舱门飞走。大家商量对策，Poe讲述Ren的脑奸逼供法让Ben越发担心Rey，Finn揭露死星3.0计划，决定兵分两路去Starkiller毁灭死星并解救Rey，Leia要Han务必带回儿子。

Finn和Ben等人来到雪地森林遇到用原力封住伤口的Ren，Finn用Rey之前找到的那把黑暗光剑自卫被迅速打趴，Ren正要夺回光剑，结果光剑飞到了Ben的手里，Ben原力觉醒了吗——并不是，此处插入闪回：Ben和双胞胎哥哥Jacen（EU设定）出生就是力敏并从小跟舅舅当学徒，祖父身份曝光后，自相矛盾的绝地信条让他们动摇，哥哥投身黑暗面导致手足相残，愧疚的Ben和舅舅分道扬镳，戴上抑制原力的项圈发誓不再跟绝地扯关系，跟着爸爸浪迹宇宙，卢走天自此也不知跑哪儿遁隐了。

如今Ben为了救Rey拆了项圈操起光剑和Ren在雪地势开打。Ren表示那把光剑不属于他，Ben不理睬，边打边质问Rey在哪儿，Ren冷笑地说Rey也不属于Ben，还威胁要砍断他的另一只手以及他的老二（反正那也是对Rey最大的用处了），暧昧的口气让Ben越发恼火。Ren突然收到头盔里的通讯说有人潜入，一时分神，被Ben劈开面具倒伏在地，结果雪地裂开缝隙，两人各处一方。

Ben匆匆赶去找昏迷的Finn，千年隼出现来救助，Chewie和Han已经安装完所有炸弹准备离开，Ben执意单人回基地找Rey，甚至开玩笑说要戴个假发打扮成雷达技工也行，他擒住Phasma队长并得知Rey被关在审讯小黑屋，赶过去却看不见人，兜兜转转在电梯里遇到一个形色诡异的暴风兵，揭开头盔一看原来是Rey逃脱后假扮的——Ben想在电梯来一发，被Rey实力拒绝，两人都受伤了，没时间了还搞什么搞，他俩偷了TIE Silencer逃离基地，死星被炸毁，抵抗军算是松了一口气。

可是回来后众人发现Rey发生了异样，她始终不肯细说小黑屋发生了什么事，经常自言自语，刻意跟所有人保持距离，尤其抗拒跟Ben亲密接触，夜间又频频哭着自慰，种种迹象让Ben怀疑起最可怕的情况，于是找妈妈求助，被Leia开导过后的Rey似乎敞开了心房，慢慢和Ben亲近起来，此处拉灯的戏肉。

BB8和被Rey修复后苏醒R2D2的地图合并后显示了Canto Bight，于是Leia差Ben带Rey去赌城搜索卢走天的下落。他们乔装打扮，然后Ben犹如兰多+老韩附体，逢赌必赢引起不必要的注意，因为涉嫌出千（用原力操纵概率可以说神操作了）被捕，他俩寡不敌众之后被抛进了赌城的机械大牢里——Ben用机械手开了电子锁，两人逃遁地下通道进入兽马Fathier的厩房，从小马夫那里了解到赛马背后的肮脏交易以及卢走天的可能下落，决定先解放兽马们，此处插入他们骑马奔走导致赌城大乱。

他们骑着兽马来到高原，被警卫追捕无处可逃，还被逼到了悬崖边，Ben吐槽这种情况怎么一直重复，这时候BB-8开着偷来的豪华游艇来相助来，两人上了船躲过警卫，Ben和Rey搜索游艇的信息库，得知原主人是个军火商，既贩卖军火给抵抗军，也卖给第一秩序，两人为这种两面做法产生了争执，然后愤怒地正面干架。

完事后，Ben摸着她的脸，突然说了一个数字：42

她不解，Ben说，Rey的脸上有42颗雀斑，你没有那么多颗。你到底是谁？对面的人冷笑说，花了你这么长时间才发现，果然是靠下半身思考的动物呢。

熟悉的口气让Ben会想到了雪地森林的Ren——当时对方穿着黑衣黑裤和有变声功能的头盔，从来没有人看到Ren的脸，也没有人怀疑Ren的性别。

难道你看完上面的文以为Ren是Ben的双胞胎兄弟吗？不是哦，我上面已经摆了很多线索——“你的双胞胎哥哥已经走了，再也不回来了”，“哥哥投入黑暗面和他手足相残”，Ben杀了哥哥却断了一只手，才会选择抑制原力自我放逐。

那么对面的人到底是谁？

Rey的双胞胎姐姐Kyra Wren，因为w不发音，所以一直以来大家根本就没有搞对她的名字和性别。

双胞胎的母亲是曼达罗星最后的领导人Sabine Wren（而我私设她则是女公爵Satine Kryze的私生女），黑暗光剑Darksaber也是Wren氏祖传之宝

后面的剧情——跳过跳过，老台球会被Kyra砍死——起因是老台球要Kyra吃促排药，准备人工授精以便生下更多力敏，结果让Ben搞大肚子了。

他们仨一起到纳布过着没羞没躁的日子

反正我只想写Rey Kyra和Ben的3P故事

 

隐藏故事线——Ben和双胞胎哥哥长期乱伦关系被卢克发现，坠入黑暗面的哥哥被他亲手杀死，他也被砍断一只手，他也从此失去了跟人建立原力链接的能力。

蕾蕾在我另一个短篇故事或者应该说前传【Vod】里头，一直幻想自己有一个双胞胎姐妹陪伴成长，她甚至幻想出两人一起练武和驾驶，经常对着镜子自摸。双胞胎的乱伦关系也是隐藏故事线。蕾蕾和Kyra都有女同倾向。小黑屋里两人建立了真实的双胞胎原力链接，等于说，蕾蕾和Kyra的所有记忆和能力都复制了一遍。

Ben在遇到蕾蕾之前没有跟女人发生过性关系，但是他绝对不是处男。但是他其实真的搞不清楚，后来跟自己睡觉的是蕾蕾还是Kyra

 

这个故事如果写出来，会有很多曼多语。

我私设Rey在贾库拾荒的时候差点遭到强奸，但是她用刀扎死了对方，从那一天起，她就给自己的镜像取名Kyra，要记住死亡的这一天。

 

 这个设定写出来的序曲被我删除后，改成了这篇文的第七章背景：

####  [Lie Back and Think of Alderaan](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16506146) 

 

 

 

 


	3. Breylo骨科（已经有英文短篇了）

其实我已经写了个短篇：[Not Bad At All](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14351400)

In this AU, Ben and Kylo are twin brothers that are romantically involved from an early age. Their relationship with Rey is peculiar but consensual. Mostly, it's about Rey and the Solo twins having a fun threesome, downright smut, and crack.  
Each chapter is a piece of their domestic life, they are not in chronological order as I explore their complicated history, because Han, Lei and Luke are also a Ménage à trois, yeah, the Skywalker family is reproductively fucked up.  
Established polygamy with a twincest twist, albeit fictional incest.  
This is fan-fiction, for fun. I own nothing except a cleaning machine.  
This is the first time I write het and gay smut together. I'm kind of known for my pun-tendency in writing.  
To be honest, I'm a bit nervous about how it will be received. I know incest, especially twincest, is a taboo subject in many cultures, but it's also a secret kink of many people, particularly in the Star War fandom. *cough.* That being said, if this is not your cup of tea, please refrain from reading it.  
Anyway, this fiction is like a therapy session for myself as I tackle family drama and make as much smutty fluff as possible. Let's see how many tropes I can bring to the table.

 

之前写了几千字放在AO3的草稿箱里，后来我动了手术，一不小心草稿就是被删除了

那一篇讲的是双胞胎名字来源，还有他们仨的初吻 

 

 

I was still sad because I had written the second story and saved it as draft in May, but I totally forgot to post it, one and a half month later, I could not get it.  
  
I was so foolish, keep wanting to edit it later.  
And then I had an big operation on my eyes.  
And I forgot it.  
I shed so many tears due to my condition, sigh again.  
I hope AO3 would have a feature where they send an email of the draft to the writer in case they forgot it.  
Anyway, I just remember I began the draft by explaining why the Solo twins are named. They are actually called Adam and Ben alphabetically, both are nice Hebrew names.  
  
Kylo is originally called Adam (who the hell call their child Kylo anyway?), the first man on earth, because he is the firstborn, the older twin, but he changed it to Kylo in his emo period and it just sticks. He's a pilot/race car driver.  
  
Ben is short for Benjamin, it means "Son of the right hand side", and that's a subtle way to honor Luke's right hand instead of Obiwan, you know, because despite the whole Hanleialuke threesome, Leia and Luke cannot get married legally and have biological children. Bookish Ben is a writer and professor.  
  
And Rey is a British ballet dancer who came to NYC Ballet Company. She originally lives downstairs   
I wanted her to be related to Kenobi, but then I gave up. Rey in all my stories are called Rey Kira or Kira del Rey. I just like the sound of it.   
Their first kiss is like this. They are watching TV, Kylo kisses Rey accidentally, and Rey in turn kisses Ben as a way of getback.  
There is no identity confusion or cheating or anything. Kylo looks like Kylo, and Ben looks like Patterson. Rey enters the threesome knowing their incestuous relationship.   
Ben is kind, patient, nurturing and usually takes up the chores. Kylo is temperament and a bit childish. Ben is the dominant one in the dynamics.

 


	4. Groundhog Day无限循环AU

分享一个土拨鼠之日/明日边缘，也就是无限循环AU的脑洞

红房子最后蕾罗抢光剑昏了过去，蕾蕾醒来的时候发现自己回到了TFA开头。回收了一天垃圾的过程她不断有似曾相识的感觉，因为一切一模一样，但是她选择不去救BB-8，那天晚上她睡觉老是感觉哪里不对，结果醒来发现又回到第一天。

于是第二次，她救了BB8，救了Finn，以更有效率的方法救了千年隼，来到Maz地下室，拿到光剑，在小树林遇到开罗人，打昏他，把他拖回去见父母，但是半夜开罗人逃狱（或者FO来袭），杀了抵抗军基地所有人，包括父母和蕾蕾。

该死的原力，于是她一登上千年隼，就直接飞到Starkiller炸死星了，然后她也被炸了，醒来又回到同一天。

无论怎么搞都是无限循环，蕾蕾气死了，为毛我一定要吃力不讨好地干这些苦差事，为毛我不能享受一点？

于是她就留在AT-AT里头，把平时收集的holovid黄片拿出来，观摩学习。

————————  
昨天那个无限循环的AU，蕾蕾她只保留了记忆 每天醒来都可以把未看完的黄片看完的复习一遍，而且不需要出去捡垃圾了 就靠着那一日口粮活着，反正第二天醒来又有得吃了，实在无聊了再出去搞搞事，搞死自己也不怕 反正回来

然后我思考了一下，如果我也陷入无限循环 我就天天看小黄书 但是可怕的是 AO3也不会更新了 只能看那些已经完结或者坑文

而且如果我写小说的话，无论手写还是电脑打字都无法保存，因为第二天就不见了==

 

 

I wake up and I have a strange Groundhog Day AU in which the Throne Room scene goes wrong, when they split the lightsaber, both of them faint and then Rey wakes up on the day at the beginning of TFA. After a hard day of scavenging, she keeps having strange dejavu because everything goes on exactly like a dream, but she chooses not to save BB-8, and that night she goes to sleep feeling uneasy, when she wakes up, she is back on the first day.

tl;dr Rey is in a time loop, and maybe the only way to get out of this time loop is to save Ben Solo.

And when she goes on exactly the same way, saves BB-8, saves Finn, saves the ship, etc, she gets the legacy light sabre in Maz's basement as usual, and meets Kylo Ren for the first time in the woods, this time, she beats him, drags his sorry ass back to Han and Leia, let the parents do the talk, but Kylo breaks out of the Resistance's temporary prison easily at night and kills everyone, including both his parents, and Rey.  
No no no, the force is fucking with me, she thinks.  
Fuck this shit, she thinks, after the 20th time, she gets on Millennium Falcon as soon as she wakes up, and flies to the Starkiller Base to blow the whole thing up, and she still wakes up on the same day.

"Fuck the force! I don't wanna die a virgin, and if I have to live the same day again and again, I might as well enjoy it." So she sets the priority: Fuck Kylo Ren, using whatever way she knows to seduce him to the light side. If she has to suck his darkness out of his dick, she'd do it.  
So she starts to collect and watch a lot of Holo Porn, repeats and pauses them again and again, learning all the sexual techniques. And reads a lot of Holo romance books, I mean, she can speak several languages, drive space planes, how difficult it will be to learn to master the art of seduction and fellatio? Let alone having all the time in the universe.

Shit, this is turning to be a crack fic.

And fastforward to the Interrogation Room scene, when Ren tries to read her mind, all he sees is all those porns in her brain. My, this girl's mind is really.... filthy. And Rey smiles seductively, "You know you can take whatever you want, right? So why don't you take it now?"

And they fuck.

I have so much fun plotting away.

The first time Rey wakes up, she is not force sensitive like in TLJ, but her force grows strong as time loop goes on, so I think if she keeps the same day for 10 years she may actually be the most powerfully jedi, but that’s depressing. In the original Groundhog Day movie, it is never clear how many years did the man spend in the time loop to master the piano, the ice sculpture etc, someone even estimated 100 years. I think he may need years of therapy after that. Time loop is a scary prison to be in.  
I have some idea about the title for this time loop fic: Reyboot Reyload Reyturn Reybound...


	5. Master of Knight of Wren鸟AU

原本我是想写鸽子蕾蕾和老鹰开罗的

I have an idea about a Reylo fic where Ben is a black hawk and Rey is a grey pigeon. The predator falls in love with the little dove. Ah, the angst. He had to constantly remind himself not to hurt her.  
We have so many eggs that we have to offer some to our relatives and neighbours.  
We have two refrigerators, and sometimes they are full of eggs. LOL.

MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月21日  
The sad fact is that those birds cannot breed.  
MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月21日  
But those birds don't know that. Do you know most pigeons mate for life. So they will keep on trying to have babies.  
This is how pigeons mate.  
I'm worried that Hawk!Ben will crush Pigeon!Rey

And pigeons will actually kiss and preen each other as part of their courting ritual.

That's the reason reason we call couples lovey-dovey.  
I think I'd better go with a Reylo bird fic where both of them being Pigeons with different colours. That's easier for me to write.  
I have 15 pigeons and they keep on breeding every month. So I have a lot of material to work on.

#Reylo# #图安一记# #MFA101##星战同人#  
蕾罗终于进入世界万物阶段了  
在Discord群聊脑补出了一个fairywren鸟AU  
第一秩序的吉祥物Kylo Wren和配偶Wrey  
Master of the Knights of Wren  
图1-3 红背细尾鹩莺 Male Red-backed Fairy-wren  
图4 雌鸟  
图5 雄雌鸟在聊天  
图5 蛤是orange-crowned wren  
图7 Holdo是purple-crowned wren  
图8 Finn是white-winged wren 其他暴风兵也一样  
图9 Phasma和Poe

红背细尾鹩莺（学名：Malurus melanocephalus）为细尾鹩莺科鸟类。其为澳大利亚的特有种，分布于金伯利至新南威尔士东部的沿海地区。其与其他细尾鹩莺一样，也存在着明显的两性异形。雄性具显著的婚羽，头、背和尾为黑色，背部具红色羽，翅膀棕色。雌性背褐色、腹苍白色。雄性的非婚羽及幼羽与雌性羽毛类似。少数雄性存在白色的非婚羽。已确定了2个红背细尾鹩莺的亚种，分别为分布于澳大利亚东部地区的长尾橙背亚种（M. m. melanocephalus），及分布于澳大利亚北部的红背亚种（M. m. cruentatus）

 

Ah a new idea! Rey and Ben are both wrens! Ben is the Master of the Knights of Wren, and Rey is a little scavenger wren.

This is the male wren, notice the black feather and red back.

This is the female wren, it’s mostly grey and beige.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
  
MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月22日  
They are of the same species. The male looks much colorful so as to attract the females.  
Male Red-backed Fairy-wren (Malurus melanocephalus)  
They actually exist in Australia.  
They can have lovely babies!  
  
:wink:  
MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月22日  
Wren and Wrey, a bird song.  
  
MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月22日  
Come on that’s super reylo material right there!

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously fairy-wrens are all so pretty. I can see Phasma as the blueish one, and Poe the multi-colored one.  
The superb fairywren family. OMG.

 

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-backed_fairywren

As part of a courtship display, the male wren plucks red petals from flowers and displays them to females.  
So relatable!

 

 

Wren: You need a teacher!  
Wrey: Piss off!

 

This is Hux the orange-crowned wren.

 

This is Holdo the purple-crowned wren.

 

This is Finn the white-shouldered wren. Aka, the stormtrooper wren.

 

  
  
MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月22日  
Wren: I am a skywalker, I’ve BEEN solo all my life.(已编辑)  
Wrey: That’s a long name. I will just call you Ben, ok?(已编辑)  
MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月22日  
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csU_mdDG6e0&feature=share](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csU_mdDG6e0&feature=share)

 

All I can think is so how Wren takes Wrey on a beach date. LOL.  
Wren: I can show you the way of the north. Wrey: Thank you very much. I think I can manage myself.  
  
MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月22日  
What sets Kylo Wren different is a scar across his right eye, making him fiercer than others.  
Little is known about how he got the scar: bested by a female wren who hadn’t even fully moulted her juvenile plumage.  
The little grey wren called herself Wrey, a scavenger with a funny accent, if there were different accents among birds, that was.  
Super territorial, she would beat the shit out of anyone who tried to take things from her turf.

 

 

Wrey was one of few wrens to survive in the desert, as her kind usually was found along the northern and eastern coastline.(已编辑)  
The harsh environment toughened Wrey from a young age. Abandoned when she was a hatchling, she had no clear memory of her parents. Maz the lovely fairywren took her under her wings.

This is Maz, a lovely fairywren, I shit you not. It’s really called “lovely fairywren”. Its natural habitats are subtropical or tropical dry forest and subtropical or tropical moist lowland forest.  
Maz knew everyone and their uncle and even befriended Chewie the dog. LOL.(已编辑)  
My story is full of fowl play, pun intended.

 

  
  
MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月22日  
We are birds of a feather.  
  
MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月22日  
Kylo Wren revered the legendary Revan the raven, they both had black feathers, very smart, and Wren even longed for a star-crossed love story like Revan did, and that says a lot about how weird Wren is. And that's why Wren remained single at three years old, that was the mature age for a wren. When mating season comes, he just felt out of place.   
❤  
1  
When he met Wrey who was only two years old, the biological instinct just kicked in. But Wrey was not mature enough to feel anything, you know, down there. Wren kept bringing flower petals to court her.  
He also had to fight off Poe and Finn who were singing all the time to woo the lady.  
Almost all female fairwrens look greyish and plain. And they would only be attracted by male wrens of the same species. So, lucky for Kylo, Poe are Finn were doing things in vain.   
MFA101 | cryforwhat2018年6月22日  
Why is the feather connecting us? We don't even look alike?

 


	6. Adopt a Soldier笔友AU

[#星战同人#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E6%98%9F%E6%88%98%E5%90%8C%E4%BA%BA%23)[#MFA101#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23MFA101%23)[#图安一记#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E5%9B%BE%E5%AE%89%E4%B8%80%E8%AE%B0%23)[#Reylo#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23Reylo%23)  
推荐等级： 5星  
长篇连载：未完  
记录一个脑洞  
学校的社会项目要求做一次长期公益活动  
蕾蕾有两个选择  
1给国内囚犯写信  
2给海外士兵写信  
她选择了Adopt A US Soldier（AAUSS）领养美军项目，于是开始和海军陆战队的开罗人当了长达10年的笔友才终于修成正果  
为什么要拖那么久？  
AAUSS经常是中小学老师组织全班做的项目啊最简单的是每周一次明信片或者手写信即可，包裹不是必须的。  
其实是不能奢望士兵回信的，因为他们的第一要务是战斗，这个活动目的不是交笔友而是送温暖，给国外士兵提供一点支持的同时珍惜自己的自由，但是很多人都跟收养的士兵产生很亲密的情谊，大部分士兵也会回信或礼貌提出海外急需的东西，领养者会尽可能满足愿望，有时士兵也会送当地特产作为回礼，感人的内容会在官网分享，下方图片来自官方FB。  
  
未满18岁需要监护人许可才能领养士兵，但是蕾蕾是靠学校项目通过批量申请的（没有经过Unkar因为蕾蕾知道他不可能同意）。领养申请是双盲，除了选择长期还是短期领养，不可以选择性别年龄地点，由电脑随机选择，所以这都是命啊，邱楚万就是你了  
  
收养士兵计划影响到很多人，蕾蕾同班的芬恩收养的是波波，后来他也励志参军当上飞行员。  
  
开罗人18岁去参军的时候，蕾蕾在福利院才8岁 这相知相识过程宛如过山车：  
  
开罗人有情绪控制问题跟家里闹翻了才去参军，写信是治疗师的建议，因为他喜欢书法，加上他跟家里失联所以需要最低限度的“家书”维持人际交流。  
  
蕾蕾刚开始这项目时还在Unkar的福利院里，过着苦逼而乐观的日子。他们通信了很长一段时间开罗人才知道蕾蕾是女的，因为她喜欢谈论机械修理和回收垃圾，她的邮票和明信片是垃圾场回收来的，连信封都是自己用二手牛皮纸做的  
  
这才让开罗人意识到Unkar把她当成垃圾场童工不靠谱，开罗人的poor rich boy problem被这个可怜但阳光的孤女对比得很苍白，于是他第一次才写家书让当参议员的妈妈干涉取缔了Unkar的非法行为，几经周折才让父母信得过的朋友Maz和Chewbacca领养了蕾蕾。  
  
Leia和Han也很关爱蕾蕾成长，被领养后的蕾蕾是在富足的Skywalker Ranch长大的，这一点非常重要，否则也没法寄那么多东西给开罗人，当然开罗人父母私底下也借蕾蕾之名寄送东西给儿子，原本离家出走参军的开罗人因为领养项目而重新跟家人弥补裂痕。  
  
领养是双向的，这才是我要的平衡。

这个故事设定开罗人全名Ben Organa Skywalker Solo，在军中任务代号是BOSS蕾蕾叫做Rey Niima，所以每次邮局都是这么通知领养者来函的：老板，你妈来信了。

  
一些小细节：  
蕾蕾给开罗人的情人节卡片  
因为是退伍军人养父Chewie帮忙做的 所以很USA“爱国味”的蓝红心卡  
  
蕾蕾被领养之后才有足够的零花钱给开罗人寄包裹，因为鞋盒大小的快件寄到国外可能需要9-15美元的邮费，AAUSS大部分邮件是Priority Mail，寄件只需要APO或者FPO地址，寄给军方MPO检视之后才空运到国外具体地点，非领养者不可能随便寄送东西到国外军营，911之后任何邮件都会严查的。  
  
蕾蕾第一次寄巧克力因天气太热融化但是开罗人还是吃下了，蕾蕾有一次把零食和洗浴用品一起寄送结果串味儿了估计开罗人一辈子忘不了洗发水味的饼干但是回报是他永远有军营最闪亮的头发

  
  
年幼的蕾蕾寄送快件总是尽可能把内盒装饰得花里胡哨，就算没有时间装饰内盒也会给零食包加个卡通卡片打个蝴蝶结，开罗人叠起绿色沙包做了个圣诞树拍照作为回礼。  
  
她年幼的时候没有相机没有相片于是就画自画像，她根据开罗人寄来的相片画的都是黑色火柴人……  
  
青春期理所当然有春心萌动的过程：  
蕾蕾写信讲了她的心动对象，开罗人急得咬牙切齿但是除了叮嘱她小心小心再小心还怎样呢？  
好吧 他让Chewie盯得死死的，连运动社团都来回接送不给其他男生任何机会  
但是叛逆期的蕾蕾还是会开溜，最后这场初恋以心碎告终，因为那个男生把她当“胡子”了。  
幼稚的蕾蕾发誓再也不谈什么鬼恋爱了，还不如远在万里的“养子”靠谱  
  
他们是这么称呼对方的：  
My Garbage Girl ：MGG  
My Brave Boy：MBB  
  
在蕾蕾满18岁之前他们啥都不会发生的（要不然咧）开罗人服役期间可以休假回乡，所以他们有真人见面的机会但是非常少，1年頂多1次，但是开罗人在蕾蕾暑假教会她开车但发现她已经能熟练开拖拉机了  
  
蕾蕾8岁时还左右不分，开罗人用左手比了一个L拍照寄信教她认左右，她就再也不会弄错了，后来开罗人被地雷炸掉左手，那是他仅剩的唯一一张左手照，显然很多人也被我这个设定吓到了。其实在构思梗的时候我已经把结局想好了：  
  
【隐藏剧情线是一把八十米长刀  
详情看评论区截图】  
  
玻璃渣简单版本：本来开罗人约之后去参军蕾蕾毕业典礼，但是像Logan Lucky一样机场路上遭遇地雷炸掉左手，治疗期间PTSD跟蕾蕾失联了好长时间，蕾蕾都快急疯了Chewie才跟她说了真相，才知道自己现在的幸福生活跟开罗人脱不开关系。  
  
她积极帮助开罗人复健安装义肢走出阴霾，乐观到足以调侃走天家长男必然断手的梗，领养了军犬BB8/9  
  
结局是两人相互扶持，正式交往，一起上大学（朱莉亚学院/MTI）  毕业后组织给军人义演的活动之类的。

 

你们可能不想知道的隐藏剧情线是一把八十米长刀：蕾蕾喜欢舞蹈，养父母也支持，运动让她快速长个子，十三四岁就快一米七了，舞校竞争激烈，蕾蕾打算走职业方向，Maz发现蕾蕾十六七岁了月经还是不规律但是满脸青春痘以为她刻意节食导致荷尔蒙失调，但是蕾蕾否认，看了多个医生才诊断是蕾蕾有子宫内膜异位症+多囊卵巢综合症，需要动手术服药来控制，养父母完全负担得起手术医药费也很支持她的复健，但问题是蕾蕾因此犯抑郁认为自己是个“残次品”，因为这个病最大的问题是即使手术也无法提高成年后依旧很低的生育率。多囊问题让她大崩溃，此前她已经开始在信中有意识地跟开罗人调情搞暧昧，但是开罗人一直都是装作看不懂没有直接回应。蕾蕾手术后开罗人打电话慰问，蕾蕾哭着说要是以后没人要她怎么办？（17岁少女=drama queen）开罗人直接回应：当然不会有人要你，因为没人敢跟我抢啊。某程度上这也是一种告白，但是被玩笑给掩盖了，蕾蕾破涕为笑，开罗人答应去观看蕾蕾几个月后的毕业汇演（到时就年满18岁了），然后你们都知道，去机场路上他被炸掉手了。残疾使他PTSD。蕾蕾几经周折才找到索罗家，这回轮到她用一样的话安慰开罗人，他才终于接受义肢和复健。我的脑洞一直在跟我要平衡：两个破碎的人见证过对方最糟糕的时刻，用意想不到的方式互相成就了更好的对方，但是他们的关系并不是完全健康的。（这个梗的来源是菊总本人的亲身经历，她15岁确诊子宫内膜异位症+PCOS，动过多次手术 ）

 

去中东的快件禁止三个P：no porn/pork/poteen，猜猜蕾蕾偷偷寄了哪个P给开罗人

 

想象一下8岁还左右不分的蕾蕾 开罗人用左手比了一个L拍照 寄信教她认左右 蕾蕾就再也不会弄错了 因为后来开罗人被地雷炸掉左手 那是他仅剩的唯一一张左手照 这


	7. Barely Lethal特工学妹AU

[#图安一记#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E5%9B%BE%E5%AE%89%E4%B8%80%E8%AE%B0%23)[#MFA101#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23MFA101%23)[#Reylo#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23Reylo%23)[#星战同人#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E6%98%9F%E6%88%98%E5%90%8C%E4%BA%BA%23)  
Barely Lethal  
MFA101  
青春高校AU  
刺客学妹AU  
昨晚看这个沙雕电影产生的脑洞  
完全就是迪宝宝剧情向  
First Order是个专门拐幼孤女训练成刺客的黑暗特工组织  
（后来剧情解释是ZF外包机构）  
蕾蕾代号KR31 心地很软充满compassion  
但却是她这一代最优秀的学员  
于是很早就被派出去执行各种任务  
结果花花世界让她大开眼界  
她尤其沉迷美国高中电视电影（沉迷Mean Girls和90210）  
一次出任务的时候掉落飞机假死  
然后就通过交换生计划装成英国少女到了美国家庭寄宿读书（不是au pair）  
莱雅和老韩是好几年前申请的这个项目  
现在夫妇感情不好正在分居  
儿子本是车库搞摇滚乐团的EMO仔  
给自己取艺名称开罗人  
（莱娅说本几年前去了舅舅的绝地夏令营后就性格大变了）  
乐队名：伦武士团  
鼓手是法斯玛  
键盘是蛤蛤  
还有神出鬼没的贝斯DJ  
邻居Tico姐妹是相当热情的好伙伴（所以不可免俗地换装剧情靠她们）  
  
蕾蕾坚持要品味全套的美国高校的体验  
第一天上学就坚持要坐黄色校巴  
打扮成八九十年代的包子头刘海（被笑死）  
蕾蕾对人气运动健将学长（芬或波）心生仰慕（也是很老套的高校剧情）  
拉拉队员Jess和Tallie好心邀请她一起吃午饭  
结果被Mean Girls洗脑的她怕被坑了断然拒绝  
然后就去面试球队的吉祥物Wookie  
穿着毛绒套装在球场上各种翻筋斗==b  
开罗人一直狗狗眼默默守护的存在  
两人一开始互相看不顺眼  
但是后来一起打电玩特别合拍  
而且开罗人是个阴谋论研究爱好者  
然后返校节舞会来了（都说了老套高校剧情了）  
波波邀请蕾蕾去舞会  
蕾蕾发现波波根本听不懂她的梗  
然后第一秩序的人找到她了  
（怎么找到的呢，因为她翻筋斗的视频上油管红了）  
大打一番之后是HE  
Reylo End game是必须的

 


	8. Jane the Virgin处女情缘AU

Prompt - Jane the Virgin AU: Due to money issues, Rey is busy balancing college and waitressing in the Organa-Solo resort. She is so tired that she falls asleep on her routine pap smear test. Unbeknown to her, the gynecologist mistakes her with another patient, and gives her an IVF, which impregnants her with the frozen sperm of Ben Solo, a cancer survivor and the heir apparent to the Skywalker legacy. Now the Skywalkers are trying to convince Rey, a virgin, to give birth to their only hope. Telenovela drama ensues, of course.

Obviously this is a much more conceivable way to have the Solo baby than force conception.

 

我都说过我设定的开罗人总是缺这少那的，这个本是癌症幸存者也不例外——他得了睾丸癌所以少了一颗蛋，化疗之后是不建议精子受孕的，只能在动手术前保存了精子，他30岁的时候莱雅为了抱孙就想方设法找代孕【。

  
Well, I did say in the Virgin AU he's a cancer survivor, before he had chemo, they had taken his sperm and stored it for future generations, so to speak.

I can't think of a reason why the Resistance would have the evil overlord's sperm stored.  



	9. Spellbound拼字蜜蜂AU

Reylo #图安一记# #MFA101# #星战同人#   
Spellbound  
副标题：Rey Kira and the Bee  
推荐等级：五星  
未完结  
警告：只是我的一个脑洞

今年全美拼字比赛的冠军单词是Koinonia (/ˌkɔɪnoʊˈniːə/) 听完裁判解释词义那一瞬间，我已经脑补了10万字的Reylo文。It means communion, joint participation; the share which one has in anything, participation, a gift jointly contributed, a collection, a contribution, etc.

今年总决赛冠亚军别提有多戏剧了！两人（一男一女，女的比男小）居然是同一个州同一个市同一个区，A在州决赛输给了B失去州赛权，于是通过另一个RSVBee wild card项目过关斩将并自付旅费，从8百多人杀进全国总决赛，这也是节目历史上参赛者最多的一届，最后剩下AB两人，B最后拼错了一个单词，A在后台拼命摇头，然后A上台拼完冠军词汇，ABC和早安美国被这对冠亚军萌坏了。

男的今年14岁，这也是比赛年龄上限。女的12岁，已经是第四次参加比赛了。很多拼字比赛选手岁重复多次参加一直到满15周岁为止。结果临门一脚就拿到全国冠军了。

今年的比赛太抓马了！一选手把balaclava（头套）拼成了balaklava被判错误，但是因为她是听完发音直接拼写，没有要求定义和词源，而后者是一个虽然偏僻得要死但事实存在的乌克兰克里米亚某小城市名称，所以重新审核为同音词拼写正确之后闯进决赛，ABC把这事取了标题成Girl makes history at National Spelling Bee

本索罗专注拼字比赛成魔，指导老师是老台球，他天天练书法背单词。他老爸说：你的叛逆期就不能老老实实当一个emo kid吗，我什么时候才能看到你穿着休闲服在车库搞摇滚乐队？14岁的开罗人面临人生最后一场拼字比赛，结果被第一次参加的小蕾蕾打败。

卢克原是本的指导老师，但是连续三年拿亚军后闹翻了。后来卢克到蕾蕾的公立学校做客座教授，发掘她的拼字才能，做了她的指导老师。孤女蕾蕾寄养在Unkar家还在回收站当童工，唯一的伙伴是被她翻烂了的韦式词典，参加拼字比赛拿奖对于大学申请非常有吸引力。

本索罗的特殊记忆力有个特别开挂的地方是逢赌必赢，所以老韩和兰多还是很骄傲的，虽然他并没有出千【。

蕾蕾的特殊记忆力包括记住所有Pokemon宝可梦宠物小精灵的名字和能力【并不可爱，因为她实际上somewhere on the spectrum收

本索罗的冠军词汇是Cyar'ika/shar ee kah/: 亲爱的

 

11岁蕾蕾和14岁本本的敌对/友谊关系   
[_O_ MFA101](http://t.cn/RBUlCUP)   
拼字比赛全国总决赛去了华盛顿  
因为监护人Unkar顾着回收站不去  
蕾蕾由导师Luke和校长Ackbar陪同  
比赛耗时约五天  
其中包括白宫参观和烧烤会  
因为同一个州的选手  
开罗人和蕾蕾住隔壁酒店房间  
大人去给学生办手续后就去喝酒了  
蕾蕾突然初潮了不知道该怎么办  
肚子痛得嘤嘤哭  
开罗人红着脸跑去给她买卫生巾和巧克力  
借她笔记本电脑看了很多油管卫生知识  
这是我痛经时脑子里盘旋的剧情  
直到我月经完了才终于敢写出来  
坦白讲  
月经就是月经  
没啥好羞耻的  
我写了快十年同人都没见证过怀春少女的成长故事啊  
这就是机会啊收

 

 

你知道我还做了这种调查 确保了美国儿童11.5岁来月经的可能性 我的顾虑是孤儿蕾小时候营养不足 有可能没那么早初潮啊 所以我还要考虑 也许Unkar不是那么坏的人呢 毕竟19岁蕾蕾都能长高到一米七了 所以营养或许不是问题 还有就是太靠近开罗人 被他的信息素影响到排卵了 伪科学真刺激

 

我为了写这种 从1997年的拼字比赛开始看起 觉得自己学了好多没用的单词 我还研究了一部拼字比赛主题话剧 希望在故事中间插一个开罗人带蕾蕾体验沉浸式舞台剧的情节 <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_25th_Annual_Putnam_County_Spelling_Bee> 这个沉浸式舞台剧是6个常驻主演+2-4个从观众从抽出的临时演员一起合作的 非常好玩啊 而且重点是还有成人版吧：At some shows, adult-only audiences (over age 16) are invited for "Parent-Teacher Conferences," also known as "adult night at the Bee." These performances are peppered with sexual references and profanity inspired by R-rated ad-libs made during rehearsals.

 

但是现实往往比戏剧更加夸张 我来跟你说说今年真实发生的拼字比赛总决赛的惊人内容

 

一选手把balaclava（头套）拼成了balaklava被判错误，但是因为她是听完发音直接拼写，没有要求定义和词源，而后者是一个虽然偏僻得要死但事实存在的乌克兰克里米亚某小城市名称，所以重新审核为同音词拼写正确之后闯进决赛，ABC把这事取了标题成Girl makes history at National Spelling Bee

 

两人（一男一女，女的比男小）居然是同一个州同一个市同一个区，A在州决赛输给了B失去州赛权，于是通过另一个RSVBee wild card项目（只能给往届优秀选手）过关斩将并自付旅费800刀，从8百多人杀进全国总决赛，这也是节目历史上参赛者最多的一届，最后剩下AB两人，B最后拼错了一个单词，A在后台拼命摇头，然后A上台拼完冠军词汇

 

因为前两三年出现了双冠军的情况，所以现在每年的比赛越来越难 活动形式复杂很多，还有笔试和口试结合 因为进入决赛已经有五百多人了，舞台根本容纳不了，从原来半天的比赛拉长到了5天的比赛 笔试部分满分是36分 按照得分数一层层筛选 

 

进入最后一天的人数不可以超过50人 假如满分3人，35分7人，34分10，33分12人，32分18人，那么32分以上全部进入总决赛，但是如果32分有19人，因为加起来51人，超过核定的50，那么33分以上的32人才可以进入总决赛

 

最后2人的冠军词汇是25个，只有他们两人都错了同一个单词的情况下，才可能双冠军

 

我最近几天就一直在官网研究这个考试流程了 别的不擅长 考试研究简直是我的特长 这个活动真的超有趣啊

 

这个活动有很多纪录片可以看的 拼字蜜蜂的词汇级别不是正常人能想象的，大量德语和希腊语拉丁语，今年的冠亚军都表示选用了Dasari亲选的冠军词汇单——9岁的时候就已经熟悉掌握10万个生僻单词。实际上这比赛23年来出了19个亚裔冠军，决赛全是亚洲脸 所以星球大战的Jessica Pave还有Rose姐妹都是必须引入的【政治正确】的角色 如果决赛都是白人角色，没有亚裔角色，那才真的奇怪了 波波是拉丁裔 不过从统计学上 拉丁裔拿奖的可能性不高 所以他就是个陪跑的 黑人芬就算了 他就是蕾蕾福利院的一个朋友 要写的【真实可信】的话 不可能让白人承包决赛的

 

 

 


	10. TLJ后沙雕脑洞

[#Reylo#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23Reylo%23) 一个沙雕脑洞  
TLJ打完之后  
罗：和我一起统治银河创立新秩序吧。  
蕾：不，那不是我想要的。  
罗：你想要什么我都给你。  
蕾：你给不了。  
罗：为什么？  
蕾：你1分钟前才说我没有家人了。  
罗：..呃...  
蕾：你能给我家人吗？  
罗：能啊。  
蕾：怎么给？  
罗：请收下我祖传的【】...

 

棕榈酸自来水：祖传的染色体么XXXXD

_他家也就三代单传和一个银河帝国王位要继承而已【。_

 

_[ 5月23日 12:58](https://weibo.com/2735597461/GhY2F5zlA?from=page_1006052735597461_profile&wvr=6&mod=weibotime) _

 

 

[#图安一记#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E5%9B%BE%E5%AE%89%E4%B8%80%E8%AE%B0%23)[#MFA101#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23MFA101%23)[#Reylo#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23Reylo%23)[#星战同人#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E6%98%9F%E6%88%98%E5%90%8C%E4%BA%BA%23)   
一个  
沙雕  
到  
不行  
的  
脑洞  
EP8之后蕾罗天各一方继续原力纽结  
在抗军基地的蕾蕾开始了集体生活  
几个月后大家逐渐发现她产生了变化  
胃口大增脸色红润体态圆润起来  
连开罗人都评价她那啥好像变大了  
（他们干了啥才看得到那啥）  
这下子蕾蕾变得脾气越发暴躁了  
开罗人试探她上一次月经是什么时候  
蕾蕾回答她小时候长期营养不良  
月经从来没有规律过  
开罗人惊恐万分叫她赶紧去看医生  
蕾蕾边嚼零食边说她体征健康没必要  
被谣言惊动的莱娅跑来找她私聊  
结果蕾蕾正在厕所狂吐  
完了一抹嘴说真不应该吃过期腌制食品  
莱娅感叹说她怀本的时候吐了三个月  
旁边原力连接中的开罗人也尴尬死了  
蕾蕾听完呆了一会然后捧着肚子爆笑  
不就是因为伙食改善吃太多才变胖的  
为什么大家好像都觉得她怀孕了  
她又没有跟男人睡过觉 怎么可能  
原力开罗人在旁又惊又喜地说  
我们不是天天一起通过原力睡觉吗？  
蕾蕾问莱娅有没有给儿子进行过性教育  
莱娅困惑地问跟这个有什么关系  
接着焕然大悟骂本这兔崽子  
坚持扶着蕾蕾去医疗仓验血照CT  
结论是  
恭喜你怀孕了还是双胞胎  
开罗人特别开心说我曾祖母就是靠原力怀上我姥爷的  
看来咱们家的传统算是维持下来了  
蕾蕾气得差点拿光剑去砍开罗人  
都怪你通过原力摸什么手！  
要维持你家传统那就先断一只手吧！  
  
莱娅喜滋滋地煮叉烧煲仔饭....  
  
一个原力导致怀孕的沙雕故事  
所以是网恋需谨慎啊  
  
【这种荒诞的剧情卢卡斯第一集就拍过了】

 

[ 2月25日 14:08](https://weibo.com/2735597461/G4KjR0QMd?from=page_1006052735597461_profile&wvr=6&mod=weibotime)


	11. Death and Maiden死神与少女AU

[#图安一记#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E5%9B%BE%E5%AE%89%E4%B8%80%E8%AE%B0%23) [#MFA101#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23MFA101%23) [#AO3奇葩标签#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23AO3%E5%A5%87%E8%91%A9%E6%A0%87%E7%AD%BE%23)    
【[#Death is a Pining Fool#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23Death%20is%20a%20Pining%20Fool%23)】  
这个标签完美阐述了这篇文：  
她丧命于一次可怕的意外，死神出现了。  
死：哦，不。  
她：呃……  
死：怎么又是你？  
她：这一回真的是意外啦！  
死：鬼才信你！  
卢（突然冒出）：我相信。  
死：闭嘴给我消失！早知道正月就不剃头了！  
她：你干嘛生气啊？  
死：我说过多少遍你不能为了见我就一直做死！  
她：我没……好......我有.......但......  
死：好啦，开始走吧，黄泉路长着呢。  
她（挽住胳膊）：距离下一次轮回还有多长？  
死：一辈子。  
  
[#星战同人#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E6%98%9F%E6%88%98%E5%90%8C%E4%BA%BA%23)[#Reylo#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23Reylo%23)  
开罗人和蕾蕾是经典的Death and the Maiden梗。

 

 


	12. 沙子+金银斧头AU

[#图安一记#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E5%9B%BE%E5%AE%89%E4%B8%80%E8%AE%B0%23)[#MFA101#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23MFA101%23)[#Reylo#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23Reylo%23)  
激情的沙漠  
（前方高能）  
  
—亲爱的....  
—怎么了？  
—说点脏话助助兴。  
—呃，你确定吗？  
—确定。  
—要多脏？  
—要多脏又多脏。  
—呃......我！恨！沙！子  
没有明确谁对谁说，可能是遗传自安恨沙的开罗人，也有可能是蕾蕾说的，毕竟她看过他的脑子

 

* * *

蕾蕾把光剑掉进水中。  
原力鬼浮出水面  
原力：你掉的是双头红色光剑呢，还是十字红色光剑？  
蕾：都不是，我掉的是祖传断手剑。  
原力：真是个诚实的好孩子，断手剑还给你，顺便附赠红色十字光剑和他的主人。  
  
恭喜蕾蕾女士喜提叉烧【。

 

[8月5日 18:58](https://weibo.com/2735597461/Gtg1HDjUR?from=page_1006052735597461_profile&wvr=6&mod=weibotime)


	13. Bachelor Nation真人秀AU（英文中篇连载中）

[#图安一记#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E5%9B%BE%E5%AE%89%E4%B8%80%E8%AE%B0%23)[#MFA101#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23MFA101%23)[#星战同人#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E6%98%9F%E6%88%98%E5%90%8C%E4%BA%BA%23)[#Reylo#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23Reylo%23)迟到的原力日献礼  
五星推荐五星  
Where the Heart Is  
MFA101  
推荐等级：五星  
长篇连载：未完结  
AO3: [网页链接](http://t.cn/RudMUdr)

这个系列是真实存在的，我已经写了好几章了，还分了系列：[The Bachelor Nation Verse](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1096107)

  
抓马十足的相亲真人秀  
[#The Bachelorette#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23The%20Bachelorette%23)AU  
看开头就被有力的吐槽笑到翻滚  
  
开罗人是上一季黄金单身汉男主角[#The Bachelor#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23The%20Bachelor%23)（一男挑25女），但是最后一集放弃选择冠亚军，因而继续以参赛者身份参加新一季的钻石单身女郎The Bachelorette（一女挑25男），这一回他是否能够找到真爱赢得芳心？  
  
很多观众都说这是电视台骗收视率的阴谋，由于走天家的人情况都很奇葩，drama不断，有他们在收视率一直很高，Kylo Ren本名Ben Solo，他用假名参赛的事儿泄露后，被爆出他其实是古早[#The Dating Game#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23The%20Dating%20Game%23)女主Leia的儿子，想当年那一季曾经闹出惊天大丑闻，Leia和Luke本来是美国甜心式的标配，结果在探访故乡约会环节意外发现Leia和Luke是亲兄妹，ABC电台为此改了节目规则（这虽然是个family friendly节目，但是没有到真鼓励sibling love的程度）。虽然Leia和Luke含泪告别，但是Leia后来跟Han Solo配对成功并成为该节目第一对结婚的情侣。想当年Han和Luke的银屏基情也引发众多讨论  
  
开罗人被吐槽是“Kylie Renner”（讽刺Kylie Jenner），因为这人毒舌又英俊壮实，能穿多少穿多少地提供杀必死。  
  
基本不怎么穿上衣的开罗人意外导致了高腰裤再次时兴，他的经纪人老台球被洗发水赞助商骂到快把毛撸秃了【。  
  
开罗人主演的那一季Bachelor的女嘉宾是【Girls】班底，一个个作天作地鸡飞狗跳，把原本狂躁爱爆衫的开罗人衬托成了新好男人国民老公，他最后既没有选Jessa也没有选Hannah其实让很多人松了一大口气。很多女嘉宾在私人独白里面坦言参加节目就是为了骗取他的护发秘方  
  
所有他参与的剧集又被笑称是Keeping up with the Skywalkers 噗（讽刺Keeping Up With the Kardashians）  
  
留到最后的黄金单身汉都是Bachelorette  25-29季的参赛者  
  
Armitage Hux：第一秩序高管  
Finn Storm：退伍军人黑小哥  
Poe Dameron：风流倜傥的飞行员  
Dopheld Mitaka：受气小媳妇脸  
Akshay Kumar：亚洲配额【。  
Snap Wexley：肥仔配额【。  
Unkar Plutt：第一集就被淘汰的猥琐男。  
DJ：有点邋遢又很神秘的程序员。  
  
蕾蕾本来是第22季的The Bachelor（男版）参赛者，聪明又幽默还上镜， 是个人见人爱的甜心，本来已经被选为冠军了，结果男主Cassian在最后一集上映之前反水，选择对亚军Jyn求婚，造成ABC大丑闻，为了平复观众的怒火，ABC选她为第14季的The Bachelorette（女版）女主角，在接下来的10周里， 她要从25个单身汉中选入如意郎君。  
  
这一季最奇葩的是单身汉参赛者Phasma，因为体型魁梧又充满魅力，和蕾蕾交谈甚欢，结果到了第五集大家才发现她其实是女的，万万没想到抢戏妖怪Hux最后和法队双双出局，推特热标签[#What the Phux#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23What%20the%20Phux%23)  
  
第1周，从25人淘汰10人  
第2-5周，每周淘汰3人  
第6-7周，每周淘汰2人  
第8-9周，每周淘汰1人  
第10周，决定冠军  
  
本季Bachelorette是有史以来最drama的一季，观众一边看一边站队取名字，男女男男搭配全员都齐，社交平台各种热评，Reylo，Reyux，Reylux，Finrey，Damerey，Stormpilot，Gingerpilot大乱斗，SNL讽刺剧乱入  
  
归根到底，这其实都是ABC的阴谋吧  
  
HE结局，开罗人手撕老台球，蕾蕾说You Are the chosen one，然后番外是他们以冠军情侣参加Bachelors Winter Games尬舞花滑啥的，蜜月全程直播  
  
这文标题Where the heart is来自开罗人姥姥演员Natalie Portman的2000年同名电影，我以前沉迷娜塔莉的时候把她的电影翻来覆去地看，这一部最不出名的却是让我印象最深刻的，中文译名是《芳心何处》，讲述一个孤女择偶错误之后，经历无数障碍重建人生事业爱情  
  
是不是很想看呢  
看截图标题作者  
其实是我写的脑洞  
AO3的看评论  
记得给我点Kudos哦  
剩下想到啥剧情就补充一下吧

[5月6日 00:18](https://weibo.com/2735597461/GfiNOvbMf)  
  
[#如何写出更洋气的欧美同人文#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23%E5%A6%82%E4%BD%95%E5%86%99%E5%87%BA%E6%9B%B4%E6%B4%8B%E6%B0%94%E7%9A%84%E6%AC%A7%E7%BE%8E%E5%90%8C%E4%BA%BA%E6%96%87%23) 用英文写梗并且发表在AO3，接着出口转内销伪装微博推文，就会收集到更多脑洞了【目前为止只有我一个人亲测有效收

 

 

前三季女主都情归第一玫瑰和初吻对象，蕾蕾的第一玫瑰给了芬，但是因为芬和波整集都在眉来眼去，小黑屋初吻给了开罗人，鸡毛预测蛤蛤，结果播出次日爆出蛤推特发过nazi言论【可以说是很符合人设了

 

蕾蕾上季口头禅是The garbage will do.但是这话用在相亲节目太诡异了，于是新季promo用的是她楚楚可怜的表情I need someone to show me my place in all this.你以为镜头一转切到伸出手的开罗人吗？不是，是大型landfill蕾蕾开发了废物回收项目，第一次集体约会是带着众男去垃圾场拾荒

 

波波背着吉他弹唱出场撩妹，简直太作弊，开罗人条件反射地想要不要脱了上衣，他的杀手锏是牵出了一匹栗马Chewie，help you get back up【。//[@MFA101](https://weibo.com/n/MFA101?from=feed&loc=at):14季开播了，梗超多！扎了马尾的开罗人下车，蕾蕾问我可以模你头发吗，开罗人哈哈笑地解下头发任她揉毛，超软超甜

 

按照101道问题，开罗人一边给蕾蕾扎法式辫子一边聊天，愉快吐槽莱娅的包子头【。//不，大开你还是脱衣服吧

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

这个rubber是他们在孤儿院做秋千用的轮胎，我设定蕾蕾来自新墨西哥圣塔菲（看截图2-3）

 

 

[MFA101](https://weibo.com/assbender)：Kylo is a shower, not a grower

 

 

Everyone tries to calculate the age gap, unsure if Ben got himself a midlife-crisis trophy and Rey is just waiting for him to die because she’s a golddigging hussy but no one says shit to their faces cause Ben is rich as a Hutt and probably owns half of ABC and all that

 

Ben: I still can’t believe Cassian chose that chick with serious daddy issues. Rey: To be honest, I’d develop father complex too if my Dada looks like Mads Mikkelsen, or Harrison Ford. Ben: 

 

He’s over 30. He’s had a whole life already! For kriff’s sake he’s had a whole redemptive arc, haven’t you watched last season’s The Bachelor?

 

 

蛤蛤一对一约会带蕾蕾去游乐园 意外地浪漫，直到蕾蕾眼睛发亮地用枪扫荡了一堆玩偶公仔送给孤儿院，并不家庭友好的牛仔酒吧rodeo场景被剪掉了/蕾蕾：而且我马上就可以骑到最烈的马

 

真人秀的套路不都是商业化吗，彻底一点，开罗人emo期的老照片被爆出来后，他就豁出去开始代言眼线笔和指甲油了，后来出了润唇膏和美发产品系列都非常畅销【。/开罗人被吐槽Kylie Renner够我笑一年哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

 

大概是因为别人脑洞就讲一个故事，我的脑洞往往是好几季的电视剧吧【

 

开罗人一对一约会是赛车场日游，友情客串老汉（老板）教儿子用吊桥原则泡妞，结果蕾蕾不是省油的灯，飙起车比罗还狠，反正玩的是心跳，看谁先被吓死有了前车之鉴，波波带蕾蕾去开飞机，以为稳了，没有料到对手是玛丽苏中的战斗机收视率保证/污得有水平

 

初次集体约会蕾蕾带男士们去孤儿院当义工，开罗人建了树屋，天黑后大家去休息他坚持留下来把轮胎秋千架搞好，蕾蕾非常感动，荡了好久秋千“Never thought our first date would involve a rubber

 

万万没想到抢戏妖怪Hux最后和法队双双出局，推特热标签[#What the Phux#](http://s.weibo.com/weibo/%23What%20the%20Phux%23) /突然发现各个cp都好想看真人秀au 无伤大雅的勾心斗角…//[@MFA101](https://weibo.com/n/MFA101?from=feed&loc=at):这一季最奇葩的是单身汉参赛者Phasma，因为体型魁梧又充满魅力，和蕾蕾交谈甚欢，结果到了第五集大家才发现她其实是女的【。//

 

 


	14. Goldilocks三只小熊AU（明显骨科）

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1149383

  * [Reylo Rapey Reveries](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1149383)




	15. Red Riding Hood小红帽（PWP万字中篇完结）

小红帽AU：孤女蕾蕾从小被Maz（或其他人）收养。长大了成为能干的机械工，开着卡车进深山老林给Maz男友Chewie送零配件，路上在小树林加油站（？）就被给伪装成技工的开罗人给套了话。

 

来到Chewie那里呢，发现他病倒在床上，于是就问，你一身的毛怎么变少了？你的血盆大口怎么变小了？你的眼睛怎么变双眼皮了？

 

开罗人见瞒不住了，就打算扑上来吃掉蕾蕾，没想到早就被机智的蕾蕾识穿，三两下打到他喊妈妈。

 

你叫得再大声也没用，呵呵呵。

 

反正我的套路都是：来年春天 蕾蕾生了一窝狼崽

如果是ABO设定，还可以变成Alpha蕾和Omega狼哈哈哈哈 完全逆反

 

 

想不到我真的写出了电车痴汉开罗人：

[Rey Riding Hood (with Chikan Ben/Kylo)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16627502) 


	16. Nutcracker芭蕾骨科AU（中篇连载中）

####  [Nutcracker: The Education of Miss Little Rey](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17012973) 

芭蕾骨科AU：蕾蕾是老韩和莱雅领养的小女儿，从小就喜欢芭蕾，学得也极好。参军的开罗人退伍路上因为恐怖分子袭击而断手，回家休养，终于看到了传说中的妹妹，真人比信中提及的要可爱一百万倍，瞬间变为妹控，天天开车接送她上课下课，照顾得无微不至。青春期的蕾蕾对这个哥哥也是各种暗恋，还经常在打雷下雨半夜爬上他的床说害怕。就这么来来回回偷尝了禁果，因为没有保护措施就怀孕了，很快就因为害喜被莱雅发现了。开罗人就站出来拍胸口说是他搞大妹妹肚子，会承担责任的，结果老韩和莱雅坚决不相信孩子的爸爸是开罗人，以为他只是为了保护妹妹——（真实情况是，就是真的相信也不能传出去，因为莱雅正在竞选，不可能爆出这个丑闻）。蕾蕾脑子一进水，就决定把孩子生下来了。于是家里让她退了学，隐居到家里的别墅去养胎了，这对兄妹就没羞没躁地在一起了。

_正剧开始的时候，女主角就已经生了孩子，让孩子送养，一个人背着行李去纽约市面试芭蕾舞团了，对她消失了两年的的事情避而不谈，最终加入美国芭蕾舞团，成为首席舞者的故事。她和亲哥骨科生孩子是真的，哥哥被爸爸丢去了海军陆战队也是真的。这个哥哥后来还千方百计跑来她的宿舍找她。两人按耐不住又睡到了一起。女主一开始在芭蕾舞团从来不跟男人亲近 大家还以为她是性冷淡的处女 各种嘲笑，_

_但是她为了赚钱 半夜去脱衣舞酒吧打工 这是电视剧剧情 这部电视剧鬼扯得很，电视剧最扯的一点是  女主角身材极好，D胸——在芭蕾世界简直是个异类，不对 外星人一般的存在，于是她就被赞助商老板看上了 要她做小三，然后这个故事还有各种俄罗斯黑帮啊 大财阀女儿为了成为独舞而不得不花钱收买舞团 舞团老板天天靠买春寻找自我 结果男妓爱上他 8集的故事各种狗血，对了 舞团里还有个年老色衰的乌克兰首席舞者 明明已经结婚了 不甘心退休回家生孩子 天天吃禁药忍痛以便上台演出，顺便和药贩子老大搞的边线，俄罗斯黑帮老板的戏才多了 我就不讲了 这个故事最有魅力的人，这故事的男主角是被其他所有角色误以为同性恋，结果是直男的故事，他勾搭女主角不成，结果和大财阀女儿好上了，每一集都是那么狗血戏剧，女主在脱衣酒吧 还遇到一个恩客 日久生情 但是这个时候哥哥就跑上门找她了，最后他哥不是还被暗恋女主的流浪汉杀了吗，是啊 那个流浪汉还是个灭世主义者 天天写什么预言书 第五类接触 啥的。_

所以我刚刚那个骨科AU，就只是按照原剧的故事线，想了个前传算了

但是，我想到黑暗一点的版本是，其实蕾蕾对开罗人的喜欢是诱奸的结果。根据Dr. Michael Welner的文章里性预谋/诱奸（children grooming）有六个步骤

大部分都属熟人作案，虽然每个人方法都不同，但是基本都有以下几步：

1 确定受害者（脆弱点：缺失关怀，孤独、自卑、家长监管不到位都容易成为猎物）

2 获取受害者信任（观察收集儿童信息，了解其需求以及如何满足）

3 满足需求

4 孤立孩子

5 性化关系

6 维持控制

我当时总结到第三点的时候，突然意识到，有心的人看了这篇文章，完全可以变成变成反向指南。

 

这个骨科AU完全可以反过来这样看的：

 

1父母忙着各地奔走搞竞选，女儿缺失关怀

2 因为是哥哥轻易获得信任

3 满足需求——喜欢什么就买什么

4 孤立孩子——接送上下学

5 性化关系——爬上床 欲拒还迎

6 维持控制——即使坦白了是孩子父亲，仍然被一起送到别墅备孕

 

如果开罗人真的是个畜生的话 完全可以做到

我觉得我进入到噩梦太太的危险套路了

开罗人再畜生一点的话，还可以利用父母的愧疚感，因为莱雅和卢克的骨科故事在家族内部并不是个秘密，老韩可能一下子被气到心脏病发作了

因为讨厌现代师生恋，我的开罗人全是退伍军人【。

因为战争PTSD或者断手脚之类的，几乎每一个退伍开罗人都断了手 这是基本惩罚

 

实不相瞒 我那个Kira/Rey/Ben的3P故事里头，开罗人也是断手的，但是因为装了电子手，可以承当震动器的作用，方便三人同时开搞==b，

有一个环保节能绿色人肉震动器的男友，蕾蕾逃不出他的手掌心了，感谢科学【。

 

黑暗骨科隐藏故事线（我老是讲了一小截然后补一大堆）

1 开罗人退伍回家去机场路上遭到袭击，对方跟他说是赫特人发来的问候，故意只断了他的手让他残废活着，这个恐怖分子团体以前跟莱雅老韩结了仇。

2 蕾蕾其实是莱娅和卢克的私生女，最明显的证据是蕾蕾长得跟外婆帕德美80%相似，连芭蕾天赋都一摸一样（卢克在这个故事里是职业芭蕾导师，对她关怀备至，开罗人其实是有舞蹈基础的），这里请带入波特曼的黑天鹅电影剧情。

3 一开始避孕套其实是有戴的，但是蕾蕾因为芭蕾长期节食导致月经不调，莱娅建议去吃长期避孕药调经，于是俩人以为这下子可以无套了，搞着搞着一天忘了吃药，就搞出人命了

3的替换：我今天看油管一个舞蹈博主分享经期表演怎么办 她说她很走运，3岁练舞，17岁才来月经，我就震惊了，这真是21世纪的人吗，评论区一堆9-11岁初潮的也很震惊，所以那个黑暗骨科能不能设定蕾蕾根本就还没来过月经就和开罗人睡了

~~最黑暗的替换：夜黑风高蕾蕾爬上睡梦中开罗人的床，但是只是从后面抱着蹭出高潮没有进去，开罗人察觉到妹妹的性觉醒，有了别的想法，但是不好明着上。蕾蕾去参加朋友聚会，喝醉酒发生了意外，她迷迷糊糊也不知道情况（但是实际上是被开罗人迷奸），醒来惊觉失贞的她哭着跑回家跟哥哥说，开罗人当然说要报警，但反过来蕾蕾因为妈妈正在竞选而不敢把这个事情闹大，于是开罗人利用她的脆弱好心安慰，等到蕾蕾发现自己怀孕已经来不及了，他就站出来表示孩子是自己的，不信去验DNA——莱雅心虚（因为老韩不知道蕾蕾是她和卢克的私生女），这个事情被压下来，蕾蕾退学去别墅备孕，蕾蕾以为开罗人是个好人，还愿意接盘，就心甘情愿和他在一起了，barefoot and pregnant才是开罗人掌控蕾蕾的真正目的。~~

 

其实芭蕾骨科我真正想写的是各种奇葩体位好吗……为毛想了那么多剧情。

芭蕾骨科最好写的一点就是，他们光明正大的住在一起，各种搞法，甚至就在全家一起看电影的时候，老人坐着打瞌睡，他们就已经在沙发上动手动脚了，吃饭也是用脚蹭来蹭去

 我刚梦到一个芭蕾骨科的肉戏，开罗人和蕾蕾干柴烈火，可是蕾蕾穿着大袜和连体服脱不下来，他把裆推到一边，说就蹭蹭不进去，结果还是捅破了大袜[捂脸]

 

Flesh and Bone每一集的标题都是军事术语，如果是我写 每一章标题都是芭蕾术语 第一章就叫做First Position或者如果开罗人断手开篇就叫做Port de Bras

我想到芭蕾骨科AU的正文标题了：Pas de Deux（双人舞）

我之所以构思芭蕾骨科 就是为了让开罗人把妹妹宠上天 就算他断了一只手 还要给她梳头涂指甲油做好吃的

其实芭蕾骨科没有那么黑暗，蕾蕾为了让断手的哥哥恢复机能，把兴趣转向了人体机械学，参加了First Robotics高中大赛拿到了NASA的资助


	17. Starbuck星爸克AU（潜在骨科）

星巴克（星爸克超有种）AU：人到中年的开罗人终于和小女友蕾蕾修成正果打算结婚了，这个时候突然精子银行的代表找上门，说他有150个孩子，其中42个联名要精子银行公布他的身份，蕾蕾一脸WTF？！开罗人决定跟她坦诚自己尘封的往事—他18岁的时候爸爸得了癌症，家里经济困难，所以他去卖精多次筹钱救命，用的假名是Kylo Ren，精子银行跟他签了保密合同，但是他没想到精子银行把他的精子多次贩卖到这个程度。律师朋友蛤要他据理力争，反过来告精子银行泄密，但是开罗人忍不住想看孩子们（被称为stormtroopers），于是开罗人和蕾蕾就各种跑去跟踪深入孩子们的生活，包括Finn，Rose姐妹，阿索卡..... 查着查着，发现了一个更可怕的事实

已经怀孕了的蕾蕾 很有可能就是开罗人的孩子之一

Ben以为自己会solo一辈子，结果已经有了一百多个孩子和几十个孙子了 走天家源源不绝

卢克很早以前 给本谈恋爱的建议是 在你们确定关系之前 先验一下血 本以为是在开玩笑，殊不知舅舅的血泪史。

隐藏故事线：铪和法斯玛已婚并且有三个红毛巨婴，天天挣扎着出门赚奶粉钱，所以如果开罗人告赢了精子银行对他也有好处。

波波是精子银行代表，他擅长打亲情牌，例如私底下告诉开罗人他有个孩子是天生缺手的残疾人，希望他心软下来

蕾蕾因为是个弃婴孤女，其实并不清楚自己具体是哪一年出生的，他们是在侦查过程中发现开罗人的孩子们全都都有冥顽不灵的emo期才发现自己也有可能是

为什么开罗人会有那么多孩子呢，因为他前前后后卖精近300次，而且他个子高大，白人，读的是常青藤大学，所以被选中几率非常高

人到中年的开罗人为什么会认识一个小18岁的蕾蕾呢，因为他们是糖爹网认识的，一开始纯肉体的DDlg关系，然后日久生情，蕾蕾已经习惯叫他Daddy了

隐藏故事线：开罗人是曾经结过婚的，但是前妻Bazine一直没能和他生孩子就离了，前妻在婚后不久就生了孩子，所以他以为自己精子可能有问题，没想到后来和蕾蕾意外怀孕了 他大喜过望决定立刻结婚

其中一个重要情节，那42人找爸爸团体还组成了一个后援互助会，本想要混入其中又担心有些突兀，于是蕾蕾就假装也是开罗人的孩子混了进去哈哈哈哈，

而且她挺着肚子 还特别受照顾 大家集体谴责开罗人这个渣男

 

结局是：蕾蕾意外早产，他们所有人动用一切力量（从消防车到警察到医疗人员全都是开罗人的孩子）把她送到医院顺利把孩子生下来。

为神马这个故事叫做星巴克AU呢？Starbuck并非咖啡梗，而是加拿大明星荷斯坦种公牛（star+buck）的名字。曾在八九十年代曾经通过人工授精制造了成百上千头的后代。

 

 

希望我的脑袋有个usb口，插一条数据线能否给我打个10万字小说出来

 


	18. Genderfluid性别流动AU（已经有英文短篇了）

其实已经有文了：[[Draft]Fluid Mechanics](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15586365)

 

这个是初稿，开罗人在图书馆和蕾蕾同桌，开罗人误以为蕾蕾拿了他的咖啡杯——两人的名字，一个Ben，一个Rey，刚好被手指遮住到只剩下E，盯着蕾蕾咬吸管被撩到，结果发现自己的咖啡杯其实一直都在电脑后面。两人看对眼之后，开罗人接听了妈妈的电话，回来的时候，蕾蕾已经不见了。

开罗人第二次在图书馆看到蕾蕾的时候就表白，并投喂Maz咖啡馆的曲奇。

但是初稿其实被我漏掉了一个情节，在两次咖啡馆相遇之间，开罗人在修车店看到了打工的蕾蕾——这里的关键剧情是——蕾蕾是雷雷。

这篇文最大的难度在于用英文写作过程中，如何避免使用she和her，我全部都用了其他代词。

蕾蕾是个性别流动人，生理性别我是不会告诉你的，开罗人是个泛性恋。

这文我想要挑战什么呢？在不描述性器官的情况下，如何写出火热的性交

可能吗，挑战吧。


	19. Sexbot伪性爱机器人AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 目前为止最好笑的脑洞

邪恶的AI设定：蕾蕾新到一家高精尖性爱机器人开发公司实习，开罗人则是到实验室参观的高级软件工程师，不知何故他们在测试室内相遇，双方都以为对方是性爱机器人，于是抱着有便宜不赚白不赚到心态，一言不发就开搞了

开罗人内心感叹这机器人做得栩栩如生 连雀斑都清清楚楚

蕾蕾感叹这机器人体型太正 就是设计师审美有点问题 五官是扭曲的

而且蕾蕾和开罗人其实都是处……

开罗人全程做任何事都要再三问这样可不可以

蕾蕾觉得这机器人的consent程序做得太多余了

而且老二的尺寸太过夸张

两人的性知识都是看黄片学来的【所以普及性教育有多重要

这文写出来真是又好笑又尴尬啊，

女体阴道润滑做得真好【。

男体人工精液非常仿真【。

阴毛一根一根栩栩如生【。

人工皮肤毛孔细致 居然还有流汗设定

两人都还小心翼翼 因为担心机器人太贵 弄坏了赔不起

然后测试室内肯定是有摄像头的，真正在实验室里的人看得目瞪口呆 又不好意思打扰

对了 这家公司的名字叫做First Order哈哈哈哈哈 性爱机器人公司First Order

蕾蕾刚到公司就被机器人仿真程度吓着了 FN2187 简称Finn 就是个机器非裔人 

蕾蕾和开罗人当天都知道最新产品是RE线，因为仿真机器人都不喜欢被人称呼代码 他们以为REY和REN都是机器人别名

他们公司还有服务机器人BB8和BB9E

因为REY能够听懂回应二进制电子音 所以开罗人深信不疑她是个机器人

开罗人被咖啡杯撒到衣服上 想找个房间脱了擦干 结果进了使用室 蕾蕾一进来看到他的奶子就走不动腿了

这腹式呼吸的设定有点过了，蕾蕾心想，他皮肤抹油了吗？

XX过程蕾蕾摸着他的头毛 感叹这发质太好了

这故事要搞的深度一点 可以跟奥斯卡的 机器姬 联动

老外的laundry day我一直没法理解 大概就是一周只洗一次衣服 那天蕾蕾穿裙子没有穿内裤【。

蕾蕾穿的是公司的制服 所以更容易被怀疑是机器人

蕾蕾不穿胸罩的 反正不用担心下垂

First Order是机器人公司，性爱机器人只是一个分支，蕾蕾实习单位是服务机器人BB系的，

蕾蕾本来是想跟认识不久的男友第一次的，还得到同事Rose的礼券去了Spa中心做了脱毛和护肤，结果不小心发现对方劈腿，气得不得了，看到公司给员工福利是测试RE系性爱机器人还有补贴，加上Rose的推荐，于是报名立刻通过了审核，她还填表写了自己喜欢的体型身高 开罗人满分符合

开罗人在First Order是高级软件工程师，Snoke专注让开罗人破处三十年【。

FS系（法斯玛）的金属感太浓又太强势，开罗人没有性趣，看中了个子小一点的RE系

有些人觉得性爱机器人应该长得像暴风兵造型 一些人喜欢变形金刚造型

担心开罗人活塞运动是否够快【。

She is--was--so beautiful that it's not just 'Oh, she's too beautiful to be human,' but 'Wait, she's actually too beautiful to be human and it's a bit terrifying.'"——恐怖谷效应

It's like a parabola--increasing beauty until the peak.  Then, as all individual features get increasingly perfect--too symmetrical, too proportional, whatever that means--it gets creepy.  Like, society--well, blokes I guess--decided that beauty equals perfection.  But there's a point when you get too perfect and the beauty curve goes down.  I mean look at her face--She's too creepy to be beautiful.  She hasn't even got freckles!"

The fact that there are such perfectly freckled boobs in the world that I have access to makes me question my atheism.

“So, what kinda sexbot are we building today?”

“We are not making a... Excuse me… a sexbot.”

“Well, any robot can be a sexbot if you try hard enough. And use enough lube.”

“Yeah! That’s the spirit!”

The devil is in the details! Ren stares at Rey’s pussy.

再改一下设定 Poe不是机器人，而是高级行政人员，开罗人进了FO 看到机器人Finn Hux Phasma全都说英音 默认说英音s蕾蕾也是机器人

开始x之前要想一个安全词 要怎么样才觉得非常像机器人会用的安全词

阿西莫夫的姓氏拼写？

<https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spell_My_Name_with_an_S>

以防你们看不懂这个梗【。

Asimov读作azimov，不是阿西莫夫 而是阿鸡莫夫 只有死忠读者才不会读错他的名字

 

机器人三定律是默认植入AI里头的

She's got an incredibly sophisticated AI. Okay, she probably wouldn't pass the Turing Test, but still - very cool. And the voice recognition, her facial movement, her skin - everything is incredibly detailed and accurate.  

 

The texture of her mouth and tongue are fantastic. What kind of algorithm did they use for the sensory recognition? What did they use to simulate the body fluids? How did they make her skin?

然后全程他们俩都在想对方是不是能够通过图灵测试

AO3里的sexbot文90%是男男的，而且这里头有80%是底特律 哈哈哈哈哈

我还以为女机器人在现实生活中需求量会更大一点

我决定在里头插入一些银翼杀手梗：开罗人问：Do you dream of electric sheep?

那个伪机器人AU我想到一个情节，两人脱光光中后，蕾蕾摸着开罗人的大根赞叹不已，然后问你能不能这样就射？于是处男罗就当场早泄了，蕾蕾还惊叹这机器人正厉害，收放自如（。

然后莫名其妙的金手指开罗人把蕾蕾搞到潮吹 开罗人吓死 以为把机器人玩坏了 


	20. Daddy Long Leg残腿叔叔AU

我在想一个长腿叔叔AU，但是这个Daddy long leg用单数形式，因为他只有一条腿，所以应该是残腿糖爹【这个人设定的开罗人没一个正常的

残腿糖爹资助女大学生蕾蕾，不求回报只求写信，想想都觉得鬼扯啊，还不如直接肉体交易呢

 

蕾蕾坚持卖身不卖艺，你付钱就好办事，还要求我GPA4.0就太难为了

是啊 开罗人可能还捐了一栋楼给她吧

然后蕾蕾又发现一个惊人的情况，糖爹并没有只资助一个人，而是一群人。

她以为自己多特别呢，就是特别穷而已。

我的每个脑洞都充满戏剧冲突啊

假设蕾蕾并不知道糖爹的真实身份，偶然情况下遇到残腿开罗人帮了他一把

糖爹可以资助一群人 糖宝也可以找一群糖爹 扯平了

 

 

不知道为什么，按照原作改编的长腿叔叔完全没劲儿了——就是小言情，还不如我以前改写的EC版本的长腿叔叔带劲儿，我把变种人和种族歧视都写进去了

<https://archiveofourown.org/works/937396/chapters/36896421>


	21. Double Dicks AU双咚开罗人（已经有短篇了）

大概在9。26下午构思，然后花了6个小时写出来了

[Two of a Kind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16102937)

 

虽然是单篇完结，但是保不齐会写个续作啥的

I intended to write a one-shot, but then I thought, "Oh my stars, this is a double dicks Fic, for force's sake! They totally deserve two shots, at least, right?"

So here we are, double dicks strike again. You are welcome.

 

[Two Sittings for One](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16129025)


	22. 奥运击剑AU（Right of Way）

想太多 但是最好写个能单篇完结的就是

开罗人是世界冠军的佩剑运动员（saber fencing）

2012年在伦敦遇到了年纪小小但已经是英国队花剑团队替补的蕾蕾

因为年纪太小没有下手（==b）

2016年在里约勾搭上了，拿到金牌。

They met in London. His third. Her first. Olympic Games, that was.

Never in her wildest dream would Rey think about becoming an Olympian at 17. 

She took up fencing at the age of 9 after a coach from famous fencing training centre did a “come and try” session at her local school. She quickly showed promise, winning the West Midlands championships for her age class when she was 12. 

She worked her arse off for that, of course, and in some way, luck was also in her favour. Without enough world titles under her belt, she somehow still made it to the Olympics.

She qualified to the 2012 Summer Olympics through host option, being an alternate for Great Britain's Women's Team Foil event. Which means that, she might not even have a chance to compete.

It's not ideal. She felt like a cheater, especially when she faces legendary Olympians in the opening ceremony. 

If Michael Phelps is the face of men’s swimming, Usain Bolt is the face of track and field, and Serena Williams is the face of tennis, then Ben Solo is the face, name, and most controversial personality in all of men’s fencing saber.

 


	23. Under the Weather发烧感冒文（已经有短篇）

大概也就是个单篇完结的PWP

很少生病的蕾蕾从沙漠搬家到城市后 开始头痛发烧流鼻涕

同居的开罗人好生照顾

然后发现发烧时候进入体内特别火热

这情节是不是特别熟悉呢

总而言之就是肉文不用太讲究因果

 

其实是性别流动AU的续篇

Ben loves to take care of Rey when the mechanic is under the weather, maybe a little too much.

 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16792756

####  [Under the Weather](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16792756)


	24. 包养文（Nudum Pactum）

非一般的包养文

科学家蕾蕾在回收废品演讲会上被性别歧视的高层忽视

围观的开罗人在会后耐心听她讲了一小时的PPT

第二天蕾蕾发现自己的实验室得到了七位数字的赞助金

从事开罗人开启了糖爹追求路线

蕾蕾见招拆招不接受礼物

不过中间还是搞上了

意犹未尽继续搞

蕾蕾明确不要一个糖爹

因为她以前上学的时候已经有过太多个

包括一个挂掉的石油大亨。

 

Nudum Pactum (Nude Pact)

In which Rey might have accidentally got herself a Sugar Daddy.

NUDUM PACTUM: A contract made without a consideration, a nude or naked contract, because it is not clothed with the consideration required by law, in order to give an action.

 

I've read enough Sugar Daddy WIPs in this fandom to know how hard it is to finish a story where a relationship doesn't begin on equal terms. So here we are, a one-shot.

 

 

<http://www.griequity.com/resources/industryandissues/truthaboutrecyclingeconomist20070609.html>


	25. 23670

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some staggering percentage of machine learning and AI practitioners working today got into it in the first place because they loved tuning their models, trying to squeeze every ounce of precision and recall out of their data and model architecture. It’s absolutely addictive. It’s like being a teacher, but without the snot-nosed asshole students. Like being a boss, but you don’t have to pay the algorithm for its time. Like being a parent, but you never have to wake up in the middle of the night, and you can do it even if you’re a man who would be happy never to speak to a woman. Like being a god, but you can do it even if you’re mortal. You feel it, right? You just taught a machine something, arguably something useful and not that easy, and you barely did any work. You defined a statistical relationship and let it go to town

 

 

 

The afternoon is overcast but still unusually warm for late October. Rey opens the sliding glass doors onto the broad terrace off the second story catwalk. She looks at him over her shoulder as she slowly unzips her sundress and lets it pool to the floor. She kicks it away inside the apartment and steps out on the terrace.

Turning towards him, watching him hungrily watch her, she undoes the clasp of her bra and shrugs it off. Her husband swallows noticeably. "Stop it, my little fish. Come back inside. We're high up, but there's still a handful of apartments in your sightline."  
She ignores him and wiggles out of her panties.

"No, daddy," Rey says in as much a sing-song way as she can muster. Before she was adopted, she was never flirtatious or girly, but the Naberries have taught her the power of the female persuassion, and so she gives her best effort for her husband. She rolls her hips slowly, undulating like a stripper, and slides her fingers between her pussy lips, and when she has his rapt attention, raises her slippery middle finger to him in a come-hither gesture. Ben reluctantly steps out on the terrace.

Rey grabs him by his belt and pulls him to her. She stands on her tiptoes and kisses and licks his neck and jawline as she undoes the buckle and loops of his belt and pulls it off him. And then she gets on her knees before him and unzips his suit trousers. Looking up at him, she pulls his stiffening cock out of his pants and lays lazy open-mouthed kisses over it. She rubs his cock all over her face and then runs the tip of her nose down its underside, burying her senses in his heavy balls.

Ben groans, and Rey backs up, looking in his eyes as she wraps her hands around the bottom half of his engorged cock and slides the front half between her unhinged lips. She sucks him deeply, rotating her hands in opposite directions and sliding them up and down in opposition to her mouth. His spongy mushroom bumps against the entrance of her throat on each bob and she licks its pronounced blossoming ridge on each ascent.

Anyone and everyone in Manhattan, at least everyone west of Tenth Avenue and above three hundred feet, has a front and center view of her debauchery. She sucks her husband's cock with every ounce of skill and fervor she has while he moans above her and plays with her hair. And when he come in her mouth, she holds his cum instead of swallowing it and then gapes at him, showing him the cum pooled on her tongue.

Like a pornstar magician, she spits his cum into her hand, shows it to him and then laps it back up showing him the pool of her tongue refilled. She makes a show of swallowing it down with a few dribbles spilling over her lips, and then with the width of her tongue she licks her husband's cum from her palm. She sucks it from her fingers. And as her husband caresses her face and rubs in the remnants of his seed into her lips, she rubs the sticky residue of his cum into her bare breast.

She stands up and whispers to him, looking up at him seriously and unsmiling, "Strip."

Rey unbuttons his shirt as he slides out of his trousers and she gets back on her knees and slides his boxer briefs off of him and helps him out of his socks as his cock springs back to life and he strips off his shirt.

She stands before him, stroking his heavy cock, refusing to let him break eye contact with her, and forcefully pushs him in the chest, backing him up to a chaise lounge. "Lay down, daddy," she orders and pushs again. His jaw is tight and his hard chest and abs heaving, but his recently spent cock is already engorged again. It bounces stiffly against his stomach as he obediently lies down.

She leans over him and kisses him lasciviously as she straddles him on the chaise, gliding her soft wet tongue into their kiss the way she has moments ago on his cock. His hands come up and over her back, sliding into her hair and down over ass to her throbbing wet pussy. She mewls into his mouth and rubs her wet pussy lips against his hand and reaches for his cock between them. She lifts to a squat, gently maneuvering his girthy length from under the arch of her knee. And with her feet plant at his sides and her legs spread wide over him, she mounts her husband's cock, its heraty width splitting the pink of her pussy like a snake destroying a peach.

"Oh, daddy," she moans, tossing her head and playing with her exposed stiff clit, "You feel so fucking good."

She rolls and bounces on his cock over and over, her calves and thigh muscles flexing as she goes. It feels wanton and oh so right.

"Is it good to you, too?"

Her husband nods, transfixed. She grins down at him biting her lip. She grips and lifts her right breast and leans back to lick and lightly suck her own nipple. She let it go with an audible pop. "Show me how much you like it, daddy. Show me, Ben."

Ben sits up and wraps his arm around her, and holding her ass cheek in his hand, stands up. She isn't ready for such a drastic change of position and yelps loudly, pressing the balls of her feet against his hips for leverage. He bounces her up and down on his cock like she is a toy.

"You love this." His voice is a low rumbling basso profondo. "You love the way my cock splits you open."

"I do, daddy," her voice is a wisp of a breathless moan.

"Then tell me you're mine," he growls at her.

"I'm yours, daddy," she whimpers, bouncing in his arms. But it isn't enough for him. And still holding her, he slips his cock out of her throbbing pussy and spanks her swollen labia and clit with it.

"Tell me you need my cock."

Her tongue lolls in her mouth but before she can answer him, a forceful steady squirt of her own release drenches her husband's abs and cock and hand, streams ricocheting from the speed and shooting upwards between them to his chest and her chin.

"My squirting whale," he hisses, panting, sliding back into her, no longer interested in words. His thrusts are deep and rough and exactly what she is craving.

She coos and mewls as he manually forces her up and down.

"I need your cock, daddy," she whines, equally an admission and a demand, the thrust and pull of his thick hefty member feeling like a hand grabbing and massaging her entire womb. She licks his mouth and he opens for her, letting her bathe his tongue and mouth with her slack slobbering one. He licks her chin clean and licks and sucks and bites her jaw.

"My pussy is yours, daddy. I'm yours. I'll let you take care of me. Nobody can me her away. I'm never going to leave you, daddy."

It is everything she's needed to say to him and hasn't been able to. "I love you so much, Ben. I love you, daddy." It is everything he's needed to hear.

Ben roars as he comes in her, and as he slams fiercely in her, he holds her poor abused pussy tightly down on his erupting cock. And spent, he sinks back down on the chaise, holding her in a cramped awkward position against his chest as they both pant, and his cock softens in her. She kisses his collarbone and neck as their breathing slows, and presses her cheek to his chest, feeling the reassurance that he is with her. Titanic and endless. Never leaving her.

Once she is able to stand on her own legs again, she climbs out of his arms, but he still holds her hand adoringly.

"Are you ok," Ben asks, almost a whisper.

A thick stream of his semen oozes from her swollen pussy onto the concrete deck. Ben watches the wet seed splash his terrace in dark spots and grins crookedly at her. And she grins back, biting her lip, knowing they'd both be ok.

But late in the night, laying in his protective embrace as Ben falls asleep after making quiet, gentle love to her, she feels a brooding sadness. And she couldn't help but cry, missing something. She feels stuck in her sad orphaned childhood again.


	26. Camgirl Rey极客罗/主播蕾（中篇连载中）

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 想给Deep Learning的Seriousness写一个Camgirl Rey AU
> 
> 首先是在Reddit找到的
> 
> 完全是偷窥癖的角度
> 
> 因为内容其实并不露骨
> 
> 就是一个大学生的日常写作业，维修小家电，读书
> 
> 开罗人清了她的亚马逊愿望单
> 
> 然后有一天蕾蕾就是彻底消失了
> 
> 可以的话，这个梗是跟上一个糖爹梗串联的
> 
> [Camgirl Experiment](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16352105)
> 
> chapter 4
> 
> Kylo rubbed his temples. It had been a very long time since he had considered himself someone who wanted female companionship. He’d subsisted on a physical-satisfaction diet of angry, tense celibacy, occasional RedTube benders, _embarrassingly expensive six-month camgirl infatuations_ , and very intense workouts. He really didn’t need much. He didn’t think of himself as someone who wanted to be in a relationship; in good seasons, “married to his work,” in less-good seasons “too much of a mess to date.” But, he forced himself to consider, why then had he gotten so much more interested in Rey once he suspected she was a woman? Was it just the exciting foreignness of a woman who wasn’t paid to be nice being nice anyway? Was it just the novelty of it all? What did any of this mean?
> 
> chapter 9
> 
> “That’s giving me too much credit,” she said with a laugh. “My rent was set to increase at the start of last month and I was out of options for income. I figured it was either learn to code, go back to living on the street, or finally getting serious about sex work, and January seemed like a rough time to start on the last two, so I sold my good winter coat to pay tuition and get another few weeks of rent together, and took a stab at the first. Luckily it worked out.”
> 
>  
> 
> 取得授权啦：<https://archiveofourown.org/comments/189494198>
> 
> In Deep Learning, seriousness alternates between the POVs of Rey and Kylo, and that's also what I'm trying to do here in Camgirl Experiment, I do two POVs in one chapter and try my best to make them parallel. This is an AU of an AU, is that a thing? Deep Learning is set around Sept '16 to early '17, this story is set even earlier than that. Most basic background materials of Ben and Rey come from DL's original text and seriousness's head-canon insight in the comment section, some of them are exactly the same. Seriousness uses past tense, but I use past and present tenses to describe the different phrases of their lives. Seriousness is also very gracious to let me use Kyle Ren's Reddit ID: u/renulator1138, 1138 is an easter egg in George Lucas's works.
> 
> Kira Rey is the name used in Deep Learning. I think it parallels nicely with Kylo Ren. And the similarity between krey and kren is the reason they started a conversation in DL. In my head-canon, she is called Rebecca "Rey" Kira, I explained it in [Where the heart is](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14546694).

In 1971 the fastest car in the world was the Ferrari Daytona, capable of 280kph (174mph). The world's tallest buildings were New York's twin towers, at 415 metres (1,362 feet). In November that year Intel launched the first commercial microprocessor chip, the 4004, containing 2,300 tiny transistors, each the size of a red blood cell. Since then chips have improved in line with the prediction of Gordon Moore, Intel's co-founder. According to his rule of thumb, known as Moore's law, processing power doubles roughly every two years as smaller transistors are packed ever more tightly onto silicon wafers, boosting performance and reducing costs. A modern Intel Skylake processor contains around 1.75 billion transistors -- half a million of them would fit on a single transistor from the 4004 -- and collectively they deliver about 400,000 times as much computing muscle. This exponential progress is difficult to relate to the physical world. If cars and skyscrapers had improved at such rates since 1971, the fastest car would now be capable of 1/10 of the speed of light; the tallest building would reach half way to the Moon. The impact of Moore's law is visible all around us. Today 3 billion people carry smartphones in their pockets: each one is more powerful than a room-sized supercomputer from the 1980s. Countless industries have been upended by digital disruption. Abundant computing power has even slowed nuclear tests, because atomic weapons are more easily tested using simulated explosions rather than real ones. Moore's law has become a cultural trope: people inside and outside Silicon Valley expect technology to get better every year.

http://www.economist.com/news/leaders/21694528-era-predictable-improvement-computer-hardware-ending-what-comes-next-future


	27. Lie Back and Think of Alderaan包办婚姻罗曼史（中篇连载中）

[Lie Back and Think of Alderaan](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16506146)

Bedding Ritual witness


	28. Down the Rabbit Hole八爪鱼

There is a small park on the way to school.

There are colorful monkey bars, swings and slides, the works, you know, things that are common in the playground.

One of the slides looks like a big red octopus, with tentacles and holes.

And currently Rey is stuck inside one of the holes, with her upper body inside the octopus, while her bottom half is on the outside.

Why, you might ask, why would a girl get stuck in this weird thing out of nowhere?

The summary has already says, do not try to look for plot here, okay?

 

 

 

 


	29. Time Freak24276

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 又是无限重启的故事 想要写个Breylo框架的
> 
> Ben是物理学家，Kylo是无聊弟弟，Rey是分手女友。

I have been living without proper internet connection for a months now. I did some writing on my phone.

It's Father's Day, so I think I'd update something nice, it's called "Pop Quiz" lol. Unlike the previous sections, this one is a time jump and some flashback together.

 

o0o

Sunlight streams through the blinds of her bedroom, a quiet Sunday morning. 

Rey wakes up before the alarm clock rings as usual. She and Ben are used to getting up before six o'clock, doing an hour of morning workout in the home gym before going to school. They spend most of their car drive doing quizzes.

On a normal school day, Rey has a short lunch break, gets off school at as early as 2PM, and then she has three hours of ballet/piano lessons while he gets his fencing training in the afternoon. And the evening is spent on spelling bee and advanced classes. 

Ben is literally her all-around private tutor. Rey and Ben may be very smart and have good memory, but it does take time and effort to win competitions and skip grades. They both work their asses off. 

Well, mostly her ass.

She winces as she sits up, her poor bottom is still sore.

It's been a long time since she slept alone in her own bed. Ben left for his out-of-state fencing tournament the day before.

Now that he has restarted his competition mode, it is time for him to get back his FIE ranking, starting from various small regional contests, and then gradually getting his national qualification. The further he advances, the fiercer the competitions will be of course, however, Rey doesn't doubt he will take part in All America soon. 

He is a Skywalker, after all. And USFA have their eyes on him already. 

Ben kissed her goodbye and promised if their schedule allowed, he would take her with him during summer holidays for his future competitions, and she would be able to visit new places and open her eyes - of course, that meant they would also be able to have wild, loud sex in luxury hotels like that time they traveled to Washington DC for her Spelling Bee National Competition.

Their parents mistook her red-rimmed eyes as a very emotional farewell, as if she was sending her brother to the battlefield or something, well, sort of, she guesses, but she in fact shed a few tears of joy as she was the one that suffered the casualty.

Before he left, Ben had made sure to fuck her hard and long enough to remember him in his absence whenever she walks, sits or bends over.

Honestly, Rey is a little glad that she can finally take a breather. Sex with Ben might be great, but several times a day, as if making up for the days he's gone? Is that kind of stamina even normal? 

Considering their parents' hyperactive sex life, she guesses it is normal for the Solo men. She hopes Ben will put all that big dick energy to good use, like beating his rivals.

And her poor puffy pussy could really use a break after having been pounded within an inch of her life, in the nursing room at the airport, no less.

They were supposed to take a stroll in the airport's bookshop and possibly get some ice cream while they were waiting for the delayed plane, and how they ended up in the nursing room was still kind of beyond her. She wailed so pathetically that people probably thought there was a baby with hernia inside. And he sure sucked her nipples hard enough, as if trying to milk her.

What a silly thought, she thinks as she gets up and makes the bed, noticing her pebbled tits and deciding to do some relaxing laundry since she doesn't need to go to school today.

As she walks towards the laundry room with the hamper, she recalls the three stages of washing in three different houses.

In her first foster house, you'd think with all the high-tech household appliances the Japanese have invented, they would have something decent to wash clothes and dishes, but no, the clean freak did not trust any washers and demanded all the children to hand wash everything - they even had to clean the wooden floor with their hands and towels like little monks - to build character, she claimed. What kind of character-building required you to go without a mop? Moping around, however, all the kids had sure been doing. That's why Rey had so many tearful memories of scrubbing her piss-stained sheets and mattress.

Then in the Plutt house, they had a small washing machine under the kitchen counter, next to the dishwasher. Obviously that's a thing most English people are used to. And that's why many British washers are front loaders, and those things eat socks and knickers like no one's business. Until Rey discovered where that sock-eating monster lived - there was a lining that created that waterproof seal. Pull back that lining, and bam, socks galore! The fact that Plutt was a miserly junkyard owner unfortunately meant that many of their household things were quite trashy as he literally recycled them from the garbage piles, and Rey had developed quite a few hacks to battle the easily break down appliances and even the plumbing system - and that job was literally shitty. And the British did not believe in dryer, they liked to hang things out in the open.

Now in the Solo house, they not only have TWO kitchens, but also a specific laundry room with a top-loading washing machine, a high-end tumble dryer, various fabric cleaners and softeners, and Leia still prefers to send most of their clothes to a dry-cleaner, which is like a wonder and a waste of money to Rey, who can understand that their expensive suits and uniforms need proper dry cleaning and ironing, but she still feels funny and rather uncomfortable about her underwear being handled by others - until Ben.

When she first arrived at the Solo mansion, everything looked so luxury and shiny, it made the poor ex-scavenger feel so out of place as she desperately wanted to be accepted as their child. So she did something she was rather good at: imitation and immersion. 

And what better way than doing what their real child has done? 

Rey didn't know Benny from Adam then, but the door to his room was always open, so she snooped all over the place - his pictures, his books, calligraphic tools and spelling trophies, and she ended up spending more time in his room than her own and taking to wear his old shirts and socks (without asking, because he was not at home at the time and Leia didn't seem to mind). Remember the Goldilocks joke?

Also, she has been diligently working for spelling bee and trying to skip grades, it might seem like a child who is trying to following in her hero's footsteps, but Han is not wrong about her being a copycat, imitating whatever Benny could and would do. She even goes as far as downright copying Ben's handwriting to every right-tilting stroke - despite the fact that she is naturally left-handed.

In a way, since Rey lost her identity in 911, she, as a nobody, has been actively trying to steal Benny's identity and replace him as the Solo child in the house. She has even started to talk like the Solos in their unique accent with a lot of Yiddish words - ever wonder why she uses so many "oy vey" and sch-words?

Rey is basically Benny 2.0, and that's the reason Han feels a little bit unsettling - Rey somehow takes after Ben even before she met him in person, combined with the fact that Rey looks uncannily like a young Padme, which means that from an outsider's view, with her new hairdos and dresses, Rey actually appears to be more like Leia's child than Ben does (who resembles his father), and on more than one occasion, someone remarked that they are "like mother like daughter", it had been so awkward that they could almost hear the crickets.

But Leia takes a liking to this because she, as a mother, was also looking for a child to fuss over when her only son was abroad, and like she said, she is glad to finally have a daughter to doll up and even spoil rotten.

However, Rey is by no means a spoiled brat.

In order to ensure her status (or as Plutt had taught her to earn her keep) in the Solo house, Rey also did something that Benny would probably not do - willingly taking up all the housework and even using her puppy eyes to force Leia to cut back their cleaning service. ("Am I not good enough for you if you need to outsource such simple duties at home?")

She was not exactly doing chores like Cinderella because the Solos treat her with kindness and respect, and she enjoys being as busy as a bee in the beautiful house, with a very trusty vacuum machine. Also, the fireplace in the family room is a decorative one with some electric fire, it is even connected to a fake chimney.

And to doubly sure that Solos needed her, Rey did something Benny would definitely not do: intentional and subtle sabotages.

Now that was a tricky part.

Years in the foster houses has taught her that being useful is the key to secure her position in any situation.

And that's why within 24 hours after Rey arrived at the Solo house, the dish washer went on the fritz.

o0o

"Oh no, I'm such a klutz!" Leia sighed from the kitchen. 

"What's wrong, Mummy?" Rey perked up immediately and walked into the dining area.

She called Han and Leia "Daddy and Mummy" sweetly right from the beginning because she thought the names would forge a more intimate parental bond with them, and her new parents never corrected her because they thought it was so cute.

They of course did not need to know that she called her Japanese parents "okaasama" and "otousama" and her British parents "mama" and "papa".

"Well," Leia said, "every time I run the dishwasher, it pumps out okay, but as soon as it quits, all the dirty water flows back into it! As you can see, nothing gets done...."

"That sounds terrible, Mummy."

"I have forgotten how much I hated doing the dishes, but suddenly I remember very well! And Han is not at home, I should probably call a mechanic or something." 

"May I have a look?" 

Leia nodded and stepped aside. "Do you know how to fix the appliance, sweetie?" 

Rey walked closer to the washer and squatted down. "I will try my best for my, Mummy."

She began to remove the contents of the dishwasher, stacking them in the half of the double sink farther from the device. She reached into the silverware basket and pulled up all the knives and forks gingerly.

Rey then straightened and reached her small hand into the waste disposal beneath the half-sink basin next to the dishwasher, feeling for the output hole. After a little while, her experienced fingers found the problem straightaway – or at least half of it. Blocking the port were some potato and onion peels - something Rey had intentionally put away  when they were preparing the meal and later secretly stuffed inside the port. 

Well, time was tight and Rey really hated wasting good food.

"I think I know what the problem is."

"You do?"

"Yeah, the out port is blocked," Rey picked up a coffee cup, "Could you scoop a cupful of dirt from the garden, Mummy?"

"Why?" Leia asked.

"You will see," Rey winked.

"Okay," Leia said and went out to the garden with the cup.

And while her mother was doing that, Rey did something else - running her stained fingers over her nose and forehead to demonstrate that she was literally doing the "dirty" work for her mother.

"Oh sweetie," Leia noticed this immediately when she returned to the kitchen, she picked up a piece of kitchen paper to wipe her face carefully. "There you are."

"Thank you, Mummy," Rey managed her sweetest smile, making sure that she showed her dimples and at least eight of her white teeth - which were thought to be be her best features.

Rey then dumped the dirt into the disposal.

"What did you do that?" Leia asked.

"You will see," Rey smiled again as she discerned which switch controlled the unit, ran some water into the bowl and turned it on.

At first, the water, brown with soil, began to rise in the sink, but then, as the coarser grains of dirt scoured away the peels, quickly swirled away and down the drain.

Rising again to her feet, she began placing the dirty dishes and silver into the dishwasher.

"Where is the dishwasher detergent?"

"Here," Leia reached under the sink and withdrew a box of detergent and poured a measured amount into the appliance.

Setting the dial at the correct point, Rey closed the locking lever. The machine started up nice and normal.

"Now we wait...." she said confidently as she washed her hands in the sink.

After the dishwasher had completed its coursing and spraying, it pumped out smartly and stopped before going into "rinse".

She opened the door and found the bottom dry. With a satisfied nod, she re-closed the machine and allowed the rinse-cycle to proceed. The washer finished washing the dishes without a glitz after that.

"You are such a godsend, sweetie!" Leia hugged her happily. "I wouldn't know what to do without you!"

With a glint in her eyes, Rey buried her head on her mother's shoulder and smiled. "I'm so glad that I could do something for OUR family."

Even though there was a slight uptick in "accidents" at home, Leia might be a klutz, she was actually not as clumsy as she and her husband thought.

Rey did all those things subtly, she justified that by thinking that she never actually broke anything, just a little "tweaking" here and there.

The toaster, the microwave, the oven, the grinder, even the tail-light of Han's car....

Harmless to the family but helpful to her.

From then on, whenever things went wrong or needed fixing in the house, Rey would be the first on their parents' minds.

That was why the garbage disposal unit mysteriously broke down the day Ben returned home, she was running out of better options - she had already "broken and fixed" almost all household appliances at that point.

Rey admitted she went a little bit too far with that, but she needed the reassurance that she would not overstay her welcome or usefulness now that their real child had come home. Also, even if she could not fix that, it would still help her compost project.

But of course, things got dramatically changed the moment Ben stepped inside the house.

Because Rey knew from that moment that she could never replace him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She is woken up by his hand stroking her bare thigh, gentle touches from the hem of her panties to her knee. He raises his hand to move her hair, giving him access to her neck. His hand resumes touching her leg and his lips slowly kiss her jawline and just behind her ear, Rey smiles a little at his ministrations, not giving away that she's woken up.

She feels him press himself behind her closer, his warm chest at her back and his groin against her ass.

"Rise and shine, my Rey of sunshine," he whispers in her ear, trailing another round of kisses on her neck. His wandering hands trails to her stomach, lazily dragging her sleepwear - his old shirt - just below her breasts. She shivers and feels him smile against her neck.

His fingers trail up to her breasts, lightly grazing his fingertips on her nipples and she lets out a small gasp, her back arching and her ass pressing on his morning wood.

"Are you awake, my basherte?" he whispers teasingly, she imagines his mischievous smirk as he says it.

"Yes, my basherter," Rey nods while slowly moving her ass, grinding on his hardening cock, she hears his breathy groan of approval.

"Good morning, my precious baby doll," his voice thick with need and sleep.

"Good morn-" her words cut off as he touches her face and angles her head towards him and he kisses her passionately.

The thing about Ben is, he never has morning breath, in fact, he tastes faintly minty, Rey thinks about how long he has been awoken.

She moans into his mouth and kisses him back just as deeply. His tongue finding its way inside and touching hers. What a good morning, indeed. He breaks the kiss and continues his teasing.

With a nip on her earlobe, he pulls up her shirt, revealing her breasts, and he teases her stiff nipples, she moans his name.

He traces up her chest to her lips, she immediately opens her mouth and starts licking and sucking his two fingers.

"Good girl," he tells her, clearly pleased by her eagerness. He removes his fingers and smears her saliva on her already hard buds.

Rey feel the tightness and cold air on her nipples, making her grind her hips harder against him.

He traces it lower down to her stomach and under her panties, his fingertips grazing her smooth pussy lips. She knows he can feel how wet she is now.

He teases her opening and she lifts her hips, he pushes her back against his crotch and gives her pussy a little playful smack.

"Already so wet for me, love," he groans into her ear, his deep voice makes her even wetter.

He removes his hand from her panties and pulls the top of it, her panties slipping right between her pussy lips, exposing it to the air, She opens her legs for him to see. A strong f-bomb escapes his lips.

He continues pulling her panties tight to her cunny and her hips start moving, her clit brushing the lace each time she move. She wants more and he knows it.

"Tell me what you want," he says in that commanding tone of his that makes her heart skip a beat, he pushes the crotch of her panties to the side and lets his thick fingers graze her swollen lips.

"I... I want your finger inside of me..." Rey huskily moans out, having a hard time focusing on her answer.

"Where?" he asks, "Where do you want me?" His fingers press on her clit.

"My cunny! Please! Please put your finger inside my cunny!" She cries out and it is replaced by a groan as he pushes a finger inside her tight cunt and starts thrusting in and out.

He then slips another one inside, her tight hole slick with her own desire. Her body bows as he pushes a third one inside. Her thighs clamp on his hand as he fingers her. She calls out to him again and again like a prayer.

Just as she feels like she is going to reach her orgasm, he pulls out his talented fingers. She almost sobs at the lost. She hears him lick his fingers, tasting her. She whimpers.

He sits up and without warning, and then flips her into a new position, her front to the bed as he straddles her thighs, pinning her wrists above her head.

"I woke up hard and wanting my little angel," he whispers to her ear before trailing kisses down her spine.

"Yes?"

"Don't move," he commands as he stands up from the bed, he pulls her underwear off and she can hear him remove his. She feels the bed dipping on her other side and he straddles her thighs again.

His thick hard cock snuggles on her ass, she feel him rubbing it on her. He reaches for her shirt and removes it from her as well.

He takes her hair and pulls it gently so she can turn her head,

"I want so badly to taste your sweet little cunt, but I don't think my cock can take any more waiting," he ends his sentence with a growl and his hardness is rubbing even harder on her ass.

She doesn't want to wait either. She craves for him, for his cock inside her, stretching her, filling her.

She tries to move her hips, wanting him so bad.

He chuckles, "So needy for my cock, little angel."

And she nods eagerly, "Please..." She tell him, neediness coloring her tone as she begs, "Please take me, Ben."

He gently bites the junction between her neck and shoulders, still teasing her with his cock.

"Do you want me inside you?" he asks, his voice aroused and urgent now, "Do you want my hard cock stretching your tight cunt?"

She can't do anything but cries out "yes" and "please", begging for him to take her.

When he can't take it anymore he grabs her hands and pins it behind her with his larger one. With his other hand he reaches between her legs, she opens them as far as she can between his and she feel him guide his cock to her pussy.

The tip is teasing her entrance as she bucks underneath him.

They both moan as he finally enters her. She feels his hand grip hers tighter as he feels her cunt clench around him, filling to the brink.

"How is it getting tighter every time I'm inside you? You make me stupid with that pussy," he exclaims and she moans in agreement, the Nutcracker and the pearls can't replace the feeling of him throbbing hard inside of her, but they sure train her inner muscle well. "You're gripping my dick so tightly."

He starts moving, each stroke harder than the last, their skin slapping as he fucks her relentlessly with her moaning into the pillow over and over.

Ben is so deep inside her, she wails, completely delirious with pleasure.

She feels him let go of her hands and he grabs her waist, getting off her as he positions her ass in the air without ever pulling his cock out of her. She moves her hands above her head, gripping the sheets as he continues to fuck her.

This position allows his cock to reach even deeper, he knows how much she loves being fucked this way. She's so close now. She feels one of his hands reach under her and starts teasing her clit. Her hips pushes back at his strokes.

"You like being taken like this, little angel? Such a good little wife." His last words emphasizes by each hard thrust.

"I'm so close, Ben!" she cries out, her body shaking, so close to her orgasm. She feels him pull her tighter to him.

"Come on my cock, love!" he growls and her pussy clenches around him as she climaxes, screaming into the pillow, he continues to fuck her until she feels his cock grow thicker inside her and she know he's close too.

She knows without a doubt that he is going to come inside her again, she moans, still shaking from her orgasm. And he does, with a loud groan he pumps rope after rope of hot seed inside her. He lays on top of her as they both catch their breath, his hand stroking her hair.

When they finally have enough energy to move, he slips out of her, She feels their cum leaking out of her pussy and he groans, "I love seeing you like this."

She returns a lazy smile. Then he reaches between her legs and feels the wetness dripping out. He takes his fingers to his mouth and suck on them. "Yum."

She moves to sit up and he reaches out to her and gives her a deep kiss, lettering her taste the both of them. She swallows with dark lustful eyes, at this point she is not that embarrassed about body fluid any more.

"Let's get you cleaned up and then we eat breakfast. Before you seduce me back in bed again."

She smiles against his lips, "I can always seduce you elsewhere." He gives her ass a light spank, she looks up at him with innocent eyes, "What? I can't help what happens in the shower."

 

 

o0o

 

So you're going to the museum and it's great.  
The guards check your bag so you, I don't know, shoot a painting; you go up some fancy  
escalators, you see naked statues.  
And then it happens.  
You see a super ugly Medieval baby.  
Why do medieval babies look like ugly middle aged men?  
This baby looks like he wants to tell you to that 'a boat is just a money pit'.  
It might seem like medieval artists were just bad at drawing.  
But it turns out that babies in medieval art are actually ugly for a reason.  
While there were breakthroughs in anatomy and perspective that happened later in the  
Renaissance, ugly medieval babies were an intentional choice before that time.  
If somebody told you to paint like Pablo Picasso and you gave them Norman Rockwell, you would  
have screwed up.  
And it's the same way for artists working in churches in Italy.  
It's because most of these babies were depictions of Jesus and Mary.  
They were influenced by the idea of the homunculus, which is Latin for little man.  
These babies looked like Benjamin Button because philosophers believed Jesus was born perfectly  
formed and unchanged.  
The adult Jesus was represented in the baby Jesus.  
Until the Renaissance, when everything changed.  
Generally, we think of the Middle Ages lasting from around the 5th to 15th century, and it  
kind of overlapped the beginning of the Renaissance in the 14th century.  
The Renaissance probably began in Florence Italy, but it's important to note that it  
unfolded over centuries and countries in a time when everything moved slowly.  
So, it wasn't instant beautiful babies everywhere.  
Still, the change in style did happen, and it happened for a couple of reasons.  
Places like Florence were getting richer and churches weren't the only places that could  
afford paintings.  
People could get their own babies painted, and they wanted them to look like cute chubby  
babies, not homunculi.  
And because the Renaissance was all about classics, they looked at Greek and Roman art,  
which was all about idealized forms that ditched the medieval abstraction for beauty.  
Anyway, the point is that after the Renaissance cherubs didn't seem out of place, and neither  
did cuter pictures of baby Jesus as the Renaissance spread through Europe.  
And it's kinda stayed that way since.  
We want babies who look like they need their cheeks pinched, not their prostates checked.  
We want them chubby and cute, and we want babies that fit our ideals.  
Because those medieval babies?  
They have a face that only a mother can love.


	30. ABO Star Dragon!人龙

Ah I must be crazy or something because I cannot stop thinking about an ABO Dragon AU. The Star Dragons are formidable creatures that roam the galaxies, also known as the Skywalkers, they can transform in three different appearances, the dragon/human/half-dragon half-dragon. Male and female dragons are all alphas, and due to their fierce competitive nature, male dragons cannot mate with female dragons, (there will be a bloodshed). So in order to continue their blood line, female dragon can only mate with male alpha human (but they can't stick with their mate, that's why Leia leaves Han), while male dragons can only mate with human female omegas, which are even rare because normal human beta cannot take the dragon dick (lol)  
So when Rey of Jakku presents as an omega, Plutt sells her to the highest bidder.  
Or something like that, I don’t know. I mostly just want to write size kinky dragon sex, hehehhe.

 

<https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Duinuogwuin>

 

<https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/The_Graveyard_of_the_Dragons>

 

 

<https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Krayt_dragon/Legends>

 

 

I think long and hard about this, but then I decide it is something I probably won’t write in the near future. Because xenophile (bestiality) is not a big thing in this fandom, even if you sugar coat it with ABO.  
This dragon AU is actually fine without ABO dynamics. A dragon and a human have babies is fantastic enough. I actually want to write dragon/human sex or at least half-dragon/human sex, not the usual human/human vanilla sex. I want Rey to appreciate the scales and fangs and barbed dragon cock... you probably won't get the picture because it will gross some people out.  
And adding ABO will probably complicate the whole thing, sigh.  
Sometimes I think I am too eager to please the readers, so I have to censor what I post online.  
This whole post is like a dumpster for my ideas and prompts.


End file.
